Can you give me some reviews and comments in my essay base on the criteria in Ielts Writing? Thank you so much!
Topic: The plans below show a student room for two people and a student room for one person at an Australian university.
Write at least 150 words. (The picture below)
My essay:
As you can see, the table above displays two types of rooms for pupils studying at an Australian university. They are a two-person room and one-person room.
These rooms present some similar aspects and also several distinctive features which are the cost, the area, and the furniture of each room. The double room has a higher price, larger space, and more equipment than the single one.
The first main distinction is the fee for each room's demand. The double room is almost 2 times more expensive than the single room, specifically, 350$ per week is demanded for the first and 200$ per week is demanded for the second. Commensurate with the price, the two-person room has an acreage of 24 square meters with 6 meters length and 4 meters width, which is the same length and 2 times the width compared to that of the one-person room.
The second disparity which is easy to notice is the appliances provided in each room. The quantity of beds and study desks furnished in a two-person room is double the one-person room. And the double room also has some furniture that the single room doesn't have due to its capabilities such as the cupboard, the table and chairs, and the bookshelf.
To conclude, this picture reveals some basic information about two categories of room for the student to find their proper room due to their needs and uses during studying time at university.
Topic: The plans below show a student room for two people and a student room for one person at an Australian university.
Write at least 150 words. (The picture below)
My essay:
As you can see, the table above displays two types of rooms for pupils studying at an Australian university. They are a two-person room and one-person room.
These rooms present some similar aspects and also several distinctive features which are the cost, the area, and the furniture of each room. The double room has a higher price, larger space, and more equipment than the single one.
The first main distinction is the fee for each room's demand. The double room is almost 2 times more expensive than the single room, specifically, 350$ per week is demanded for the first and 200$ per week is demanded for the second. Commensurate with the price, the two-person room has an acreage of 24 square meters with 6 meters length and 4 meters width, which is the same length and 2 times the width compared to that of the one-person room.
The second disparity which is easy to notice is the appliances provided in each room. The quantity of beds and study desks furnished in a two-person room is double the one-person room. And the double room also has some furniture that the single room doesn't have due to its capabilities such as the cupboard, the table and chairs, and the bookshelf.
To conclude, this picture reveals some basic information about two categories of room for the student to find their proper room due to their needs and uses during studying time at university.
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