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IElTS Writing Task 2: Plastic shopping bags are used widely and caused many environmental problems.


minhhoangvn 1 / -  
Nov 16, 2022   #1
Topic:
Plastic shopping bags are used widely and caused many environmental problems. Some people say they should be banned.

To what extent do you agree or disagree?



Essay:
No one would deny the bad environmental effects plastic bags make but totally replacing them could have worse impact. That is why I believe plastic bags should not be banned.

The reason why many do not support using plastic bags is that they pollute the land and the water. Some individuals reuse but mostly throw plastic away as trash. If they are not collected, they would dug in and impair the soil. Sometimes wind lifts plastic bags to rivers and seas. Many marine animals eat them and die. Because of those risks, banning plastic bags seems like the only way to save the Earth.

A big numbers support replacing plastic bags by paper bags but it would make situation worse by another destruction. Totally using paper means more forest would be cleaned. Then, the carbon footprint would be increased. The planet would be warmer and there would be more natural disasters. For example, Vietnam lost a large amount of forest area during the wars. Therefore, now floods come frequently and causes big damage to people and properties.

T do not think thoughtlessly banning plastic bags could solve the environmental problems. Government should have stricter laws of collecting and recycling instead of totally banning them.

I am so glad to read your feedback, it is very necessary for me to improve my writing skills. Thank you so much for your help.
Holt  Educational Consultant - / 13,397 4385  
Nov 16, 2022   #2
I found myself confused about the actual slant of this essay discussion. I had to review it twice to convince myself that the writer failed to follow the correct discussion format for this type of prompt. The third reading was what I used to definitely believe that the essay does not follow the required writing format.

The first error in this essay is that the prompt restatement was not a restatement of the topic but rather, the personal opinion of the writer. The personal opinion is not considered a reflection of the paraphrasing of the given topic. The second error in the first paragraph is that there is a lack of measured or emotional response to the question. The writer needs to use words that show the strength of his belief in the statement. This is not a simple agree or disagree essay.

A third error can be found in the discussion paragraphs. Being a single opinion essay, the writer will not recieve any score for the paragraphs that do not support his given opinion. Since only one paragraph somewhat supports the writer's opinion in this presentation, he cannot expect to receive a passing score for the presentation. The reason for the failure will be the collective results of the first 3 errors and the improper development of the reasoning paragraphs. There must be 2 full supporting paragraphs for the writer's opinion. It cannot be less than that otherwise the score will be based on an under developed explanation.

The writer also failed to proofread the work, which will result in a lower GRA score. In the last paragraph, "T" was used in place of "I", indicating that the essay was not edited nor proofread prior to submission. A review and corrections should always be applied prior to submission to avoid these easily corrected errors that have major score reducing effects.
Luana1017 2 / 2  
2 days ago   #3
There are some grammatical errors in your writing
floods ... and causes big -> floods...cause...
they would dug in -> would be dug in
replacing plastic bags by -> replacing plastic bags with
hopefullyUBC 1 / 3  
1 day ago   #4
A big numbers support replacing plastic bags by paper bags but it would make situation worse by another destruction. Totally using paper means more forest would be cleaned. Then, the carbon footprint would be increased. The planet would be warmer and there would be more natural disasters. For example, Vietnam lost a large amount of forest area during the wars. Therefore, now floods come frequently and causes big damage to people and properties.

->

Many support replacing plastic bags with paper bags, worsening the situation. Using paper means companies would cut down more forests. Then, the carbon footprint would be increased (change to active voice). As a result, the planet would be warmer, and more natural disasters would occur. For example, Vietnam lost many forest areas during the wars. Therefore, now floods come frequently and cause significant damage to people and properties.


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