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ENVIRONMENTAL PROBLEMS - rising sea levels and excessive use of plastic bags


songthaonguyen 1 / -  
Feb 9, 2021   #1

IELTS WRITING TASK 2: ENVIRONMENTAL PROBLEMS



Task 2:
Some people say that the main environmental problem of our time is the loss of particular species of plants and animals. Others say that there are more important environmental problems.

Discuss both these views and give your opinion.

My essay:
It is argued that the most concerning environmental issue of the contemporary world is the extinction of certain species of plants and animals. Conversely, others claim that more significant environmental problems should be taken into consideration. This essay will discuss why the other affairs including rising sea levels and excessive use of plastic bags is worth dealing with.

To begin with, it is acknowledged that an increasing number of creatures are in danger of extinction due to deforestation and poaching. People are cutting down trees to make way for the construction of residence and factories. Meanwhile, endangered species such as tigers and elephants are being hunted illegally for their skins, tusks to make luxury handbags and jewellery. The excessive exploitation without conservation leads to the disappearance of particular plants and animals.

On the other hand, rising sea levels and the overuse of plastic bags are both detrimental to our environment. Sea levels are gradually rising and occupying the habitable areas and cultivatable land. Consequently, a huge proportion of people are likely to become homeless and crops cannot be grown in areas affected by salinity. In terms of plastic bags, it takes hundreds of years for the used chemicals to dissolve completely, thus nylon bags act as pollutants when being discharged directly into land or water. Therefore, these suggested issues both threaten the survival of living plants and animals, which make them worth concerning.

In conclusion, while the loss of specific plants and animals is a significant problem, I strongly believe that rising sea levels and the overuse of plastic bags are the most alarming issues to be considered these days.

Holt  Educational Consultant - / 10,301 3341  
Feb 10, 2021   #2
Oops! You did not only use memorized phrases in your presentation, you totally altered the discussion topic as well. Which means, you did not follow the instructions for the subject presentation. You showed a clear lack of English comprehension skills and will therefore, fail the overall test. The error is clearly seen below:

Original Instruction: Discuss both these views and give your opinion.
Your Action: This essay will discuss why the other affairs including rising sea levels and excessive use of plastic bags is worth dealing with.

Clearly, the error is self explanatory. You were instructed to use a comparison + personal opinion discussion format, you opted to use a single opinion response that is totally unrelated to the given topic. So, you can understand why you cannot receive a passing score for this presentation. Your TA score will already be failing at the very start due to the unrelated response and overall presentation.


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