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Playing freely after school or doing more organised - IELTS WARRIOR



Mr Calma 17 / 2  
Oct 4, 2025   #1
Children learn more from playing freely after school than doing more organised after school activities.
To what extent do you agree or disagree?


Some believe that students can learn more when they are left free to play than follow more organised after school. In my opinion, I partly agree with this statement because playing freely can promote children's creativity while organised activities help them adapt better in different environments.

One of the primary advantages of allowing children to play freely after school is improving their creative capability. Students are enabled to engage themselves in their favourite activities, which can be altered to be appropriate for different circumstances. If children find these activities no longer suitable for themselves, they can make changes whenever they want to create more intriguing models. For example, most Vietnamese children choose tug of war as an ideal sport after studying; however, when some feel loss interest, they may create their own versions, targeting individual physical strength instead of teamwork. Therefore, the creativity of children can be significantly improved.

On the other hand, I believe that doing more structured activities can enhance their adaptation to distinct environments. Taking part in available and organised events can make children in difficulty because they might not be their fondness or too tough for them. Thus, students need to develop their strategies and techniques to compete with other classmates to achieve victory. For instance, when a school organises a chess tournament, some children who do not have any particular interests or skills may find it challenging at first. Nevertheless, in order to pursue the first place, some strive to learn new tactics, practice with seniors to improve their critical thinking skills to overtake others in this competition.

In conclusion, while free play can foster children's creativity by giving them the freedom to explore their interests, structured activities are equally valuable in helping them adapt to different environments. Therefore, combining both approaches is the most effective way to support students' overall development.

This is my last essay before sitting the IELTS exam in the following day. If someone see this, please pray for me.
Million thanks for your support.
Mr Calma
Holt  Educational Consultant - / 15921  
Oct 5, 2025   #2
than follow more organised after school.

You are missing a verb here. What is it that the students should follow? More organized what? The word you are looking for to complete the sentence is "activities".

In my opinion,

There is no need to say this. The minute you use the pronoun I, it is clear to the examiner that you are providing a personal opinion or point of view.

On the other hand,

Since this is an opposing POV, you need to have this presented in your writer's opinion as the "but" sentence. It comes after the "partly agree" opinion. So the extent comes full circle.

One of the primary advantages

Is this a public or personal opinion? Where is the pronoun that represents the POV? This paragraph lacks clarity and will lose C+C and GRA points.

Good luck with your test. You have prepared for it as best as you can. Please let us know how things worked out for you during the test. Sending you positive vibes so you can pass the test without worries.


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