Please help me check my essay. Many thanks.
Popular hobbies and interests change over time and are more a reflection of trends and fashions than an indication of what individuals really want to do in their spare time. To what extent do you agree or disagree?
trendy hobbies?
Many things have been changed within the past few decades, especially in common interests, and they were assumed to reflect the trends or fashions instead of personal hobbies that people want to do in their free time. In my point of view, I only partly agree with this statement.
It is undeniable that popular hobbies are heavily affected by the trends as well as the fashions because they are widespread and novel. These interests are usually introduced by influencers around the world, and as a result, lots of people follow what they did and it then becomes more and more popular. Even if you do not want to imitate, you also do not want to be singled out from a group for being different. For example, everybody at your workplace is all talking about a well-know Korean series or a famous movie at the cinema, it is likely that you will watch it some time. Moreover, chances are audiences copy what actors or actresses dress on screen to look trendy.
But not everyone is fond of something popular since they still stick to their old individual hobbies. They will neglect what people are doing out there and just keep doing what they used to do in their spare time. Particularly, while ebook is so convenient and sometimes free, there are a bunch of readers who still prefer paper books. What is more? Not everyone is using social media, too. I have known so many friends who like sending emails and traditional message texting.
All in all, even though common hobbies are a reflection of trends or fashions, there are still individuals that just simply want to do things they are interested in the relaxing moments. That is why I do not agree with the statement fully.@snowflake817
Hi there. Thanks for coming to the forum! Sorry for the delay. Hopefully, this feedback still somewhat helps you in your writing endeavors.
First and foremost, the first paragraph you have curated is put-together. I appreciate how the composition itself showed how dedicated you are to writing, and how you ought to maintain a steadfast and clearer understanding of what the readers should anticipate from your text.
What I do find that you can work on is the transitioning in between of your paragraphs. For example, your movement from the second to the third appeared to be bumpy because of the lack of logical linkage between the two. What I suggest is trying to bump an explanation in the last sentence of the second paragraph to somewhat help with the smoother transition.
The conclusion also appears to be a bit hanging in the open. There's a lack of firmness in the concluding sentence by the end. Try to curate a more formal approach to closing your writing.
