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Population explosion: the risks and causes. Is it the biggest problem faced by humanity?



RAY93 35 / 166  
Mar 23, 2016   #1
To continued rise in the world's population is the greatest problem faced by humanity at the present time.
What are the causes of this continued rise?

Do you agree that it is the greatest problem faced by humanity?


The population explosion has been a severe problem faced by mankind in the 24th century life. Several things are revealed as the trigger of this, such as the betterment of life quality, stable state of most countries and the advancement in medical technology. I strongly agree that this continued problem is what we should concern since it might be led to another remarkable trouble.

The global population is progressively risen year by year which is caused by diverse reasons. At first, different with several years before, to fulfil nutritious intake for citizen is not a complicated thing as the technology has increased the farming technique and ease the distribution, whether it is importing or exporting activities, of food at world wide scale. As the result, there is an incline of quality of life which has stimulated the healthiness of adults, particularly parents, to birth many children. Another reason is countries tend to carefully keep the universal peacefulness by avoiding problems with others country. In fact, wars like World War I and II had contributed on control the population as well as the terrible holocaust in Germany by Adolf Hitler. However, it was not as reasonable and logical solution to decrease the number of humankind. At last, the advanced medical treatment techniques and technologies have made people life longer than at the past which decreases the death rate.

Unfortunately, I believe that this world's population rise and uncontrolled birth rate is the greatest obstacle for both people lives and earth since it also trigger more complicated problems. The massive number of people would lead to water and food scarcity when the source of those become limited as the same time that inhabitants need it is in an enormous figure. This overcrowded population also increase the demand of energy when people fully rely on fossil fuels which are not renewable, the land shifted to be housing area also become larger. As the result, we would not possess green area as the lung of earth anymore; the temperature of planet earth would gradually rise as well as the total of population and carbon emission release to the atmosphere, and all of those caused by uncontrolled natality and population rate.

All in all, the population explosion is terrible problem humankind should overcome to avoid more severe problems and conditions which I believe we may need to face at the future.

justivy03 - / 2265  
Mar 24, 2016   #2
Hi Ray, after reading your essay, I would like to share that you had a very good point and an argument towards the given prompt. I also loved the fact that you took time in writing the introduction, most of the articles are written straight forward and dash through the points they want to be known, yours on the other hand, gave the readers the chance to get to know what you are about to take on and this is a very good technique in writing.

Now, I made a few corrections below that will hopefully help in creating your revised essay;

- 24th century life( this is not necessary, avoid adding words for the sake of adding them, make sure that they matter in the sentence if not complete it ) .

- continuedcontinuous problem
- is what we should be concerned assince
- it might be lea d to another
- remarkable troubleissue .

There you have it Ray, I hope this is useful.
Yusri31 28 / 29  
Mar 24, 2016   #3
The global population is progressively risen year by year which is caused by diverse reasons. At first, different with several years before, to fulfil [....] past which decreases the death rate.

Note : I read your article, you have a fascinating point of view, however, i will try to give you several suggestion to repair your article.

I think, in the first paragraph, you should mention "the causes of this continued rise"... Unfortunately, I cannot find clearly what do you meant in this paragraph. It so rambling enough, it is better when you just focus to explain the causes of this continued rise in the first paragraph.

For Example :
The main idea : a wide range of people have considered that the children are one of the revenue sources.
So, in this paragraph just focus to explain the assumption of the people which has led this problem.

Good Luck


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