Please help me to correct this essay. Thank you.
Topic: IELTS Writing Task 2: Even though globalization affects the world's economies in a very positive way, its negative side should not be forgotten.
Answers:
Globalization plays a central role in this era, while it creates a range of opportunities for leveraging the economy of countries around the world. However, there also exist drawbacks about this phenomenon. From my perspective, I believe that its advantages are more significant compared to the disadvantages.
On the one hand, it can be argued that globalization would help to solve job problems in developing countries. While many foreign enterprises and brands enter the market, new jobs are required to adapt to those companies' demands. This would lead to a rise in living standards. Consequently, children can get access to school and enhance their skills, which benefits the countries' economies. Finally, it will also stabilize the world's security, which means that any country with an army intention must consider its financial benefits.
On the other hand, disadvantages can not be overseen. Some people argue that with numerous outside brands entering the domestic market, the local companies cannot compete with them. In other words, customers are favor of foreign products and neglect the local one. The last issue worth mentioning is that job insecurity in developed countries. Because of high-skilled and cheap labor generated from the developing countries, laborers in developed countries would consequently lose their work or get a sharp decrease in wages. This will affect those people's lives in which the daily expenses in those nations are incredibly high. Another drawback is that the social crime rate will be undoubtedly increased.
In conclusion, while globalization has a variety of limits that need to be improved, it seems to me that the advantages outweigh the disadvantages.
Topic: IELTS Writing Task 2: Even though globalization affects the world's economies in a very positive way, its negative side should not be forgotten.
What is your view? + Discuss.
Answers:
Globalization plays a central role in this era, while it creates a range of opportunities for leveraging the economy of countries around the world. However, there also exist drawbacks about this phenomenon. From my perspective, I believe that its advantages are more significant compared to the disadvantages.
On the one hand, it can be argued that globalization would help to solve job problems in developing countries. While many foreign enterprises and brands enter the market, new jobs are required to adapt to those companies' demands. This would lead to a rise in living standards. Consequently, children can get access to school and enhance their skills, which benefits the countries' economies. Finally, it will also stabilize the world's security, which means that any country with an army intention must consider its financial benefits.
On the other hand, disadvantages can not be overseen. Some people argue that with numerous outside brands entering the domestic market, the local companies cannot compete with them. In other words, customers are favor of foreign products and neglect the local one. The last issue worth mentioning is that job insecurity in developed countries. Because of high-skilled and cheap labor generated from the developing countries, laborers in developed countries would consequently lose their work or get a sharp decrease in wages. This will affect those people's lives in which the daily expenses in those nations are incredibly high. Another drawback is that the social crime rate will be undoubtedly increased.
In conclusion, while globalization has a variety of limits that need to be improved, it seems to me that the advantages outweigh the disadvantages.
