What are some possible ways for modern workers to maintain work-life balance ?

getting the most out of the working day

These are several possible ways for modern workers to maintain work-life balance. Firstly, workers are advised to manage their time effectively and to create a boundary between work and personal time. For example, each person should set aside two hours a day to pursue their passion. Furthermore, it is necessary that they are aware of what their stress trigger is. Practicing relaxation techniques or meditation

is one of the most effective ways to reduce stress. The pressure at work is really harmful to our health. Finally, it is essential that modern workers maintain a healthy life which includes having 8 hours of sleep, balancing between meat and vegetables. When a worker has good mental and physical health, the industry will earn remarkably. For instance, 12.8 million working days and $12 million wouldn't have been lost had it not been for stress, sickness. To sum up, it is advisable that workers arrange a balanced schedule to reach a higher level of satisfaction in career and life

The essay feels rushed. You need an effective introduction to the topic before you present the actual discussion. This is known as the introductory paragraph. Use about 3 sentences to just introduce the topic, why you will be discussing it, and what you hope you writing can do for your reader or, offer an opinion you will be discussing in the presentation.

Your current first paragraph works well or is acceptable as a second paragraph that actually discusses the topic. The problem with that paragraph, is that you do not effectively explain the two topics in the paragraph. There needs to be a clear and proper build up of your reasoning discussion based on the given topic. The topic and example alone are not enough to convince the reader to believe what you are saying.

Be careful when typing. I think you prematurely hit the enter button, which separate the two presentations. I think you were aiming for a single paragraph presentation, but created 2 paragraphs instead, with one paragraph being incomplete in development and presentation. The second paragraph should have started with "finally" as you were discussing a new topic in that section. Then "To sum up" should have also been a separate paragraph as that is a concluding presentation for your discussion.

I suggest that the essay structure should be divided into 4 main paragraphs: introduction, body paragraph 1, body paragraph 2 and conclusion to make it clear and easy to follow.

Here is my suggested structure:
- Introduction: Give 2 sentences to introduce your topic.
- Body paragraph 1: the advantage of work-life balance such as release stress, make us healthier, have time to enjoy the life,...(usually 5 sentences)
- Body paragraph 2: the measures to assure work-life balance. You solutions are quite good so you can keep it (usually 5 sentences)
- Conclusion: re-state your opinion