Long distance flight consumes natural resources and pollutes the air. Some people think it should be banned. To what extent do you agree or disagree.
While an increasing number people are having access to air travel, the detrimental effect flight has on the natural environment is drawing some individuals' attention. Because of this, they argue that air trips should be prohibited. However, I believe flight is still an integral part of people's life.
Admittedly, air travel is, to some extent, damaging to the environment. As a modern means of transportation, airplane has adequate space to hold up to 50 passengers, which requires a vast amount of fuel to operate. As a result, it may cause pollution to the air after taking off. Besides, creating the source of energy for planes to work is at the expense of depleting natural resources, which is harmful to the ecological balance.
Even so, the unique benefits air travel holds, I believe, outweigh its drawbacks. Flight is, doubtless, the most efficient way for people to transfer from one place to another, especially for long distance. For instance, it takes only 2 hours or so from Guangzhou to Beijing while people have to spend 20 hours by train for the same distance, which is more time-consuming. In fact, as the pace of life is accelerating, time is increasingly precious for people in modern society, which means flight is a necessity when people opt for their means of transportation.
Additionally, air travel provides a comfortable and enjoyable trip for passengers. As people are available to exquisite snacks and drinks, stimulating films and beautiful stewardess's service during flight, they regard air travel as an enjoyment and relaxation. As a result, air trips enrich people's life. Without flight, individuals would find the long distance trip monotonous and even miserable.
Therefore, I would conclude that we should, by no means, put ban on the air travel only due to the fact that it may damage the environment. In fact, people benefit a great deal from flight in terms of efficiency and enjoyment. But I would suggest the public raise awareness of flight's negative environmental influence and promote new technological development to relieve this bad consequence.
While an increasing number people are having access to air travel, the detrimental effect flight has on the natural environment is drawing some individuals' attention.--------- the link between the two ideas seem to be a bit weak here. I suggest you to say;
While air travel is popular among people as a very convenient, efficient and cost effective mode of transportation, some sections in the society are concerned about its adverse effects on environment.
Because of this, they argue that long distance travel by air trips should be prohibited. ----------I did this change to be in line with your prompt.
However, I believe flightair travel is still an integral part of people's busy lifestyles .
Admittedly, air travel is, to some extent, damaging to the environment. As a modern means of transportation, airplane has adequate space to hold up to 50 passengers, which requires a vast amount of fuel to operate.----- flights have the capacity to accomodate many more than 50 passengers.
As a result, it may cause air pollution to the air after taking off. Besides, creating the source supplying the of energy for planesflights to workfunction is at the expense of depleting natural resources, which is harmful to the ecological balance.
Thank you so much
I'd like to change the beginning a little bit, too:
While more people have access to air travel nowadays, the detrimental effect flight has on the natural environment is drawing some individuals' attention.---Now it is simpler and better. It is always hard to say "An increasing number of..." because it suggests plural but "number" is actually singular. So the sentence will sound strange if written correctly.
... an integral part of people's lives.
Flight is, doubtless, the most efficient way for people to transfer from one place to another, especially for long distance. ---Well, maybe it is the fastest. I don't know if it is the most efficient! Ha ha, and even if it is the most efficient, there is no way anyone will ever get me to climb inside a giant steel container and trust some pilot to fly me around. I'll walk instead. ;-)
In fact, as the pace of life is accelerating, time is increasingly precious for people in modern society, which means flight is a necessity when people opt for their means of transportation.---yeah, maybe we should slow that pace instead of flying around!!! ha haa... LOL
Again, use "number agreement" by keping it plural: As a result, air trips enrich people's lives.
Great writing here!!
dumi
Hi, dumi. Your advise really makes sense and is helpful to me.But I am still confused by some questions you pointed out.
While an increasing number people are having access to air travel, the detrimental effect flight has on the natural environment is drawing some individuals' attention.--------- the link between the two ideas seem to be a bit weak here. I suggest you to say;
While air travel is popular among people as a very convenient, efficient and cost effective mode of transportation, some sections in the society are concerned about its adverse effects on environment.
-----"While" here means "when" or "although"? Actually I meant "when" here. How do you understand?
I believe flight air travel is still an integral part of people's busy lifestyles.
flights have the capacity to accomodate many more than 50 passengers
-----you mean flight can't be used to mean air travel? It just means airplane?But in the writing task, there is "Long distance flight". I think "long distance flight" is the same to "flight". Is it wrong?
I hope you could also comment on my last 3 paragraphs . Thank you so much! I'm looking forward to your reply:)
Hi Jennifer,
I think Kevin has given you good advise on the first sentence with regard to improving its clarity. Look at his suggession!
"While more people have access to air travel nowadays,detrimental effect flight has on the natural environment is drawing some individuals". ---------It clearly explains the importance of air travel by the part first and then it goes on to talk about the adverse effects.
I did the change, flight to air travel, thinking that "air travel" would emphasise your idea better. Because when you say "flight", its meaning just stops at the vessel that carries people, whereas "air travel" gives the impression that people use this mode of transportation.
My comments on your other paras;
Even so, the unique benefits air travel holds, I believe, outweigh its drawbacks. Flight is, doubtless, the most efficient way for people to transfer from one place to another, especially for long distance. For instance, it takes only 2two hours or so from Guangzhou to Beijing while people have to spend 20twenty hours by train for the same distance, which is more time-consuming. In fact, as the pace of life is accelerating, time is increasingly very precious for people in modern society, which means flight is a necessity when people opt for their means of transportation. ------ very good para; very well written.
Additionally, air travel provides a comfortable and enjoyable trip for passengers. As people are availablehave access to exquisite snacks and drinks, stimulating films and beautiful stewardess'swarm services of friendlycabin crew during flightflying , they regard air travel as an enjoymentable and relaxationed experience . As a result, air trips enrich quality of people's life. Without flightair travel , individualspeople would find the long distance trips monotonous, and even miserableexhausting . ------------ Another good para. These changes are my suggestions to improve your essay further.
Your essay is interesting to read. Please consider my comments as suggestions for further improvement. You should get a flying score at IELTS.
Good Luck at IELTS!!
Dumi
Thanks. I'm motivated by your comments.
individualspeople would find the long distance trips monotonous,---why can'I use individuals. I think they have the same meaning.
Oh! you are a tough guy. I wish if I can explain this difference (the way I feel) in my own language since my English knowledge may not be sufficient for that. ....
Yes.... technically,
a group of individauls = people.
However, I feel the word "people" better fits there because you are making a statement about what would generally happen if air travel is not in existance. So, in this respect the word "people" would add more effect to your generalization than the word "individuals".
This is the way I felt and I wish some forum contributor would comment on this. It would help both of us.
Also, I admire your interest in improving your writing skills. You are an interesting person who would not just accept things blindly. Great! Keep it up!
dumi
Thanks! Lucky to meet you here:)
I will keep on practicing and hope you could still help me with your valuable advice!
So, in this respect the word "people" would add more effect to your generalization than the word "individuals".
ha ha, great discussion here, friends. Yes, the reason is like this: "individual" is a word we use to convey the idea that we are talking about a single person rather than many.
Therefore, it is not the best word to use. There is no reason, in this case, to express that you are talking about individual people instead of people in groups. It's just "people."
However, even though this is a great suggestion, it is also true that your essay would be QUITE ALRIGHT if you had used the word "individuals."
This is an interesting discussion about the nuances of English!
Thanks Kevin. I was awaiting for your comment.
Good explanations. I happened to finish one piece of my essay in writing with the word "individual"
Thanks for sharing this.
hello everybody, please help me to write an essay, give me your opinion and tell me if there's something wrong in my essay, thanks alot :*
hi Jennifer
Your essay vocabulary is good, but you should take some attention about essay structure.
m_imran_khar
Hi! Thanks for your advice. Could you explain it more clearly? what structure do you think this essay should be written in?