Generally eating food is one of the actions that everyone enjoys it. As a matter of fact, eating a prepared food like in restaurants has its particular joy. But, in my opinion, I like more making food myself at home and then doing relevant ceremonies before eating food because of below mentioned reasons.
First of all, one of the major points in eating food is, knowing about the ingredients. I mean that as fresh and as good quality material we use in food it would be more useful. For example, when I want to prepare rice at home, obviously I would use the best quality. Or making fried potatoes in good oil would be more delicious for me. So, being informed about the material of the food which you are making at home could be one of the advantages of my opinion. [..]
The choice between the two is a subjective one and I think your essay reflects your opinion well. A bit more of why you like the cook at home ( cost/saving , sense of accomplishment , or better food quality could be added to spice up the essay.
Generally eating food is one of the actions that everyone enjoys it . As a matter of fact, eating a prepared food like in restaurants has its particular joy. But,However,(Don't start a sentence with But) in my opinion, I like moreprefer making food myself at home and then doing relevant ceremonies before eating food because of below mentioned reasons.
First of all, one of the major points in eatingmaking good food is, knowing about the ingredients. By this I mean that as fresh and as good quality material we use in food it would be more usefulMy suggestion for the green part:the fresher and more high-quality the materials are. the more delicious the dish would be. . For example, when I want to prepare rice at home, obviously I would use the best quality. O,or making fried potatoes in good oil would be more delicious for me. So,(Don't start a sentence with So, it sounds informal)That is why I believe being informed about the material of the food which you are making at home could beis one of the advantages of my opinion .
Besides, we have to try toshould enjoy athe work which we are doing. To put it simple, imagine you are going to prepare a food. So,I n this case preparing all required materials during the process like buying the materials(repitition)ingredients , cutting, boiling and so moreon would probably make you to enjoy.be more enjoyable Finally, the most exciting moment is that you are going towhen you wait to see the result (Maybe you can explain shortly why it is exciting to see the result) . Thus, making food at home could have be fun apart from what you are making.(this sentence is confusing)
At lastLastly , I would like to say that if you eat at home, there iswill be no more stress in finding a place to sit like sometimes we have in restaurants. This happening would help us to eat foodenjoy the meal as relaxrelaxedly as we can. For instance, last time(this sounds informal to me) I once went to a restaurant and because there was no empty seat for me, I waited for 30 minutes to eat food. So,Hence, having arelaxedrelaxing environment at home during eatingwhile having a meal would be the otheranother positive point of this matter(this doesn't sound right to me but i can't think of anything else. maybe you should revise it) .
In the conclusion, although sometimes eating in restaurants could not been neglectedbe convenient,but by considering all the above mentioned itemsreasons including having a relaxing environment, fun duringwhile making food and knowing about the material of the food , I prefer to prepare and eat food at home rather than eating in restaurants . (list the ideas in the orders you wrote them above)
This is the best edition I can think of. Hope that helps.
Here are a few things that you should work on:
- linking words: don't keep using So,... (reason mentioned above), replace it with words like: Thus, Hence, Therefore, That is why, For that reason... They sound more formal.
- expressing ideas more academically. Some parts of your essay are like spoken language.
- synonyms: try to avoid repitition as much as you can.
- your main ideas are good, but try to think of stronger points to support them, or at least make the points you have sound strong.
Best
You have good ideas and reasons behind your opinion, just fix the structure of the essay to make it appear less choppy. (Ex: Avoid using a lot of "In Conclusion", "For Instance", Therefore", etc.)
Generally eating food is one of the actions that everyone enjoys it. As a matter of fact, eating a prepared food like inat restaurants has its particular joy.
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a good point :)But, in my opinion, I like more makinghaving mealsfood myself at home and then doingis better because it allows us to perform relevant religious ritualsceremonies before eatingconsuming food because of below mentioned reasons .
hey... you dont mention about this fact in your body paras.... what do you really mean by this sentence?
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