IELTS Task 1 : The Presence of Pupils Which School in Secondary School in Different Three Years

A table gives information about the presence of pupils which school in Secondary School over the following different three years in four different school types, such as specialist schools, grammar schools, voluntary-controlled schools, and community schools. It is important to note that an gradual growth in three years and the highest rise in the last period was community schools.

In the beginning, community schools experienced a few rate at 12% in 2000, the same inception with specialist schools, but then specialist schools indicated steady reduction to the lowest level. Community schools saw an enormous rise of 32% in 2005, afterwards it found the highest percentage in 2009 at 58%.

The second highest grade was obtained by voluntary-controlled school at 52% in 2000. However, different with community school, it showed significant drop at 38% in 2005 and 20% in 2009.

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Hai @daveandrei. I'm Luthfia. Nice to meet you :)
I try to give suggestions :
1. ... four different school types, such as specialist schools, grammar schools, voluntary-controlled schools, and community schools ...
In this paragraph, "such as" is able to use to give example max 3. . So, such as specialist schools, grammar schools, and voluntary-controlled schools. , and community schools

2. In the second paragraph, it is better if you comparing the voluntary-controlled school with grammar school, since both of them have the same drop rate either in 2005 or 2009.

:)

Hi Miss Devi, I would give you some suggestions. Hope it helps you...

Firstly, I find out that your essay words are less than 150 words. Maybe you can add more specific facts that essential to discuss.
Secondly, I will mark some words which not suitable.

A table gives information about the presence of pupils which school (who enrolled) in Secondary School over (in) the following different three years in four different schoolS types , such as specialist schools ...

Community schools saw an enormous rise of (by) 32% in 2005, afterwards it found ...