The prevalence of Western clothes.

Topic: In many countries, people now wear Western clothes (suits, jeans) rather than traditional clothing. Why ? Is this a positive or negative development ? (about 300 words)

jeans and suits - what to wear?

Clothes such as suits and jeans, which come from Western countries, have become a fad recently. Western clothes are also much more pervasive than traditional costumes. As far as I am concerned, I believe that there are a variety of reasons for the prevalence of Western clothes. From my perspective, this growth will have beneficial effects on many sides.

There are certain primary causes entailing the popularity of Western clothes. The first reason is these modern clothes make people feel much more comfortable and satisfied. It is inevitable that jeans and suits are more convenient compared to conventional clothes. Jeans and suits are chosen because wearing them makes workers and students feel relieved and easy to perform many different tasks. For instance, if a Japanese employee wears a kimono to run a business, they may struggle with its huge size and encumbrances and therefore may not work effectively. Another reason is because these trendy clothes help people save money and time. Choosing clothes to put on is no longer time-consuming due to the flexibility of jeans and suits in many situations. These fashion-forward clothes also save consumers' money because of its durability to wear for many years.

Moreover, regarding suits and jeans' popularity, I believe this development will give rise to some positive impacts. Because they can boost people's working and studying efficiency, these modern clothes also reduce the gap between cultures as well as social classes such as the rich and the poor. This phenomenon will become negative only if people wear modern clothes and underestimate their cultural identity and national values. On the contrary, if people still respect their traditional clothes and wear national clothes on special occasions such as "ao dai'' of Vietnam or "hanbok" of Korea, wearing jeans and suits is not a serious problem.

In conclusion, I believe that jeans and suits are the best choices when people go to work or learn at schools as a result of their convenience and simplicity. Despite their benefits, citizens all over the world must respect their cultures and traditional values, including their national clothes.

Linh, I think this essay can score at least a 5 overall. One of the main reasons that I held back on giving you a higher score is the fact that the essay was asking you for a generalized opinion of the topic and you instead, gave a personal opinion. If the essay does not say "what is your opinion", then there is no need to personalize the opinion as what is required is a blanket, general opinion that is acceptable as an explanation to most people. The third person pronoun or terms such as most people, one, others, groups, and other similar terms, create a general perception of the opinion you are presenting, which would have been more in line with the discussion. While the essay that you wrote is strong, you show a clear understanding of the topic for discussion, and you managed to present convincing evidence, it is the personal opinion statement, and the improper sentence development that pulled down your score. One of the grammar problems in your essay is your use of the connecting word "because" at the start of the sentence. You cannot use a connecting word to start off a sentence in academic writing where the rules regarding the placement of connecting words in a sentence is precise and unchangeable.

@Holt
thank you so much, Holt. I really appreciate your feedbacks and comments. They have helped me improve so much. I will try more next time.

Hi
your essay is awesome but as far as I am concerned in these types of subjects you have to write more generally instead of talking about your personal opinions.

Hello Frenchfries

Your essay is fine for me but it tend to concern of personal though.