Essay about ex-prisoner are the best people to talk to teenagers about the dangers of crime

allowing ex-prisoners talk with youth to prevent crime

It is true that offenders after rehabilitation could indeed be good citizens, and allowing these people to talk to teenagers is the best way to help students gather knowledge about the crime. While I agree with this opinion, I believe that there is still a better method to discourage young people from committing a crime

In my opinion, ex-prisoner have a real experience of crime because are they underwent a long process from committing a crime to imprisonment and becoming free citizens. Therefore they had many experiences with the criminal lifestyle, how they became a criminal and how remorseful they are. While adolescents use to be reluctant to take advice from adults and tend to do the opposite. This method may educate students about the seriousness of crime so they can understand the hazards that are associated with crime.

However, I believe there is still a better solution. One option would be to let police officers visit schools to talk about crime issues. If the policeman talks to students about the danger of breaking the law, teenagers are still knowledgeable about crime without being shocked by the reality. Another option would be to introduce crime as a subject at school. Criminology will be a credible source of information and through this subject, students can have a holistic view of crime. Finally, crime short films could help teenagers imagine the daily life of prisoners. Therefore they would be keen to see the reality of life in incarceration

In conclusion, although people who undergo imprisonment could help to deter young people from committing crimes. I believe we should introduce criminology into the education curriculum

- I need help with my Ielts writing task 2 this is the topic Some people who have been in prison become good citizens later, and it is often argued that these are the best people to talk to teenagers about the dangers of committing a crime. To what extent do you agree or disagree?

Many thanks

The summary restatement is incorrect in format because the first sentence includes an attestation where it is not needed. The truth of the statement is not something that is required by the original discussion, nor is it a part of the original presentation. As this is a part of the writer's personal opinion, it should be included in the personal opinion sentence or, turned into a topic sentence for the reasoning paragraphs. The writer's personal opinion is also problematic as it does not respond using the required format. Rather than saying "while I agree..." the more appropriate format is:

I find that I am partially in support of this statement. That is because my personal analysis of the situation tells me that there is still a better method to discourage young people from committing a crime.

The aforementioned opinion accomplishes 2 things:
- Offers the writer's extent response in a clear manner
- Indicates the basis of the succeeding discussion paragraphs

Both of these criteria will help the essay gain a better accuracy score since the opinion of the writer will have a strong foundation in terms of discussion paragraphs. His opinion is very clear to the writer in terms of extent and discussion presentation.

There is no need to explain why having criminals talk to young people will work. The point of the essay is to successfully defend your extent response. That means, expanding on the need to introduce crime prevention in the curriculum and, why police officers should be one of the main speakers when it comes to explaining the repercussions of crime to teenagers. The discussion is lacking in proper focus and development since the first reason is not supportive of the writer's opinion. Only one of 2 reasoning paragraphs will receive scoring consideration in this case.

These are the problems that will prove to be score reducing for the student. These could very well prevent him from receiving a passing score or, merely receiving a base passing score. Either way, the student needs to have more understanding of how the response format works in terms of scoring considerations.