IELTS - Some ex-prisoners commit crimes after being released from the prison. Cause

QUESTION:
Some ex-prisoners commit crimes after being released from the prison. What do you think is the cause? How can it be solved?

ANSWER:
Ex-criminals are committing crime after released from prison. I think there are various reasons which make them involve again in crime and solutions to solve this issue.

In prison, criminal meet other hard-core criminals who makes them more violent and learn other ways to do crime by joining inmates of the prison. After released from prison they are abandoned by the society that induces them to do again illegal activity. Due to mentally ill, egoism, inferiority complex, rage makes prisoners to commit again offence. Drug addicted criminal after releasing from prison involve again in drug which induce them in burglaries, accident and murder. Jail warden torture the prisoners as they are stress buster which turn them sadist and after release they will show their anger to other person.

Some of the solution to ex-criminals to be better human beings are they should be given proper counseling and rehabilitation. Involve them in community service which is a type of humiliation and is a part of educate them. Giving vocational training and job opportunities after releasing from jail makes them more responsible and avoids them to do felony. They must be monitored and supported by the government for better living. Drug addicted prisoners should be detoxified and given periodical counseling to relieve from drugs. Government should initiate scientific research on criminal behaviors and proper treatment to change their attitude and deeds.

In a nutshell, criminals are human being they have to be treated for their psychological illness and behavior patterns. Rehabilitation and community service makes them proper living being. Education and job opportunity is a solution for preventing ex-criminals to do offense.

I think you cannot copy the question in the essay.

... you need to start a new sentence for the later. My suggestion;
In my opinion, there are various reasons that compel them to commit crimes again. However, there are some solutions that can employed to arrest this social issue.


Inside the prison, prisoners interact with each other. However, association of hard-core criminals can have a dangerous and negative influence on other prisoners who would be freed soon from prison.

This sentence has some issues; grammar, clarity etc. ... Also you should tell this point as a solution and not a reason for them being prone to criminal activities.

In my view, proper counseling and rehabilitation programs can play an important role in helping these prisoners to make come back to a normal civilian life.

Some Ex-criminals continue to commit crimes even after being released from prison.


You need to break this sentence.
I think there are various reasons for them to keep committing crimes. This is a very serious issue which needs to be solved quickly.

I can see that you have some good points in your essay. But you have not presented them properly. Also you need to work on your grammar.

Dear devabe2005,

Well, your writing is ok. There are some grammar mistakes, but you can sort them out by practising. When introducing an idea try to focus on the reasons why you have chosen it/them in full. Then, you can write down some examples to verify what you have said above. Another important point is the paralelism and verb agreement. You have to pay special attention to the head of the phrase. For example, " the most beautiful girl in my class, who is sitting next to me right now, IS Brenda"

I hope these corrections help you to improve your writings. Cheers!

Giving vocational training and job opportunities after releasing from jail makes them more responsible and (mindful) to avoidsthem to do felonydoing felonies/ any felony

Involve Being involved in them in community service which is a type of humiliation and is a part of educate them [ This statement sounds a bit awkard. I mean, there is no paralelism here " type of humiliation and is a part of educate(?)"

Education and job opportunity ismay bea two main solutions for preventing criminals from re-offending

Drug addicted prisoners should be detoxified and given periodical counseling to relieve from drugs.them of drugs