Unanswered [1] | Urgent [0]
  

Home / Writing Feedback   % width   Posts: 3


What problems can be caused by increase of average life expectancy? IELTS TASK 2



followmydream 1 / 1  
Jan 16, 2013   #1
In the developed world, average life expectancy is increasing. What problems will this cause for individuals and society? Suggest some measures that could be taken to reduce the impact of aging population.

With the rapid development of modern life, average longevity, recently, seems to be on the increase. Being accompanied by certain merits it brings to our life, there still remain some drawbacks. In this essay, I intend to identify the sources of difficulty as well as some viable solutions to it.

First of all, it is believed that the phenomenon of aging population be perhaps regarded as a positive sign for the society as a whole as nothing is worthier than the fact that people can live longer and better enjoy their life. Nevertheless, is it truly advantageous whilst old age is argued to be frequently associated with a wide range of diseases such as insomnia, hypertension, Alzheimer, dementia and others? The older people become, the more pressure burden governments. That is to say, more demands for health care services and nursing to cure and take care of them are needed. Moreover, even if the elderly are free from illness, it still waste the governments and society a considerable amount of budget paying their age-old pensions so as to ensure that the old could afford their life without working. Another major hindrance is that extended expectation of life also means a smaller working population is seen. It is youngsters that possess physical vigor and immense enthusiasm, as opposed to the old people; thereby the young are likely to work more productively and capable of dedicating more to the society. In other words, aging population possibly give a rise to a significant loss in terms of economy.

In order to stem the adverse effects of increasing life expectancy, some of the solutions are put forward as below. Firstly, maybe medical advances and healthcare programs are some one of the panaceas. Doctors and health experts are required to work harder to give a birth to new treatments and then maintain health for human beings. Another cost-effective method might be for the governments to offer a longer working period to people, therefore it can release the society from the burden of funding a huge amount of pension. One further solution would be that the authorities should impose less constraints on immigration. This is mainly because that no sooner will the governments treat immigrants more leniently than there would be an increasing number of young adults relocating to their countries in search of better jobs. Consequently, a growing working population is seen.

In conclusion, it seems to me that this is a such complicated problem as sources of obstacle outlined, and that there is no easy answer to it in the short term. However, I am convinced that steps mentioned above would be beneficial.

dumi 1 / 6795  
Jan 16, 2013   #2
Hi,
First, I have a small request for you. In your next essays, have the topic title more descriptive. That helps us mods as well as you, because people tend to comment more when they see a descriptive title. :D

With the rapid development of modern life, average longevity, recently, seems to be on the increase.

Excellent introduction... very good!

That is to say, more demands for health care services and nursing to cure and take care of them are needed.

.... the highlighted part tends to confuse the reader :(

You show excellent writing skills and great potential for a real good band. Keep posting essays here for us to comment!
:)
OP followmydream 1 / 1  
Jan 16, 2013   #3
thank Dumi so much. i'll remember to add topic title next time :)


Home / Writing Feedback / What problems can be caused by increase of average life expectancy? IELTS TASK 2
Do You Need
Academic Writing
or Editing Help?
Need professional help with your assignments? Fill out one of these forms:

Graduate Writing / Editing:
GraduateWriter form ◳

Best Essay Service:
CustomPapers form ◳

Excellence in Editing:
Rose Editing ◳

AI-Paper Rewriting:
Robot Rewrite ◳