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'the rapid growth of population is always a bad news' - IELTS TASK 2 THE INCREASE LIFE EXPECTANCY


linanovirawati 2 / - 1  
Dec 23, 2015   #1
Question:
One of the consequences of improved medical care is that people are living longer and life expectancy is increasing.
Do you think the advantages of this development outweigh the disadvantages?


As fast as the improvement of medical care day by day, there have been some consequences like people being to live longer not to mention the rise of life expectancy in the recent time. This development evokes a big question whether the benefits outweigh the drawbacks or not. In my point of view, there are more the dire effects rather than the positiveness as the result of this rapid change.

It is undoubted that everyone desires to get longer life to live. It would be pleasure if they can gather with their own beloved people as much as they wish. To see their own children growing up and getting married then, looking after their own grandchildren and spending the whole life together seems to be the most wonderful dream wanted.

Nonetheless, that is not too pleasant for a fact. It is undeniable that when somebody grows old, there must be loss of movement and limited activities done. As the consequence, his or her own sons or daughters who will be the responsible ones to take care of them. There might be exhausted and fully emotional regarding to other businesses which have to handle. In The United Kingdom, it is common even the only choice sending the elderly people to the retirement home due to the fact that it would rather be better than letting them live on their own.

Furthermore, it can lead to the population boom. The advanced medical care minimizes the number of mortality which can automatically lead to a dramatic upward of not only birth rate but also life expectancy. According to the research, by the twentieth century, Europe has witnessed a great increase in the length of time which human being is likely to live. It means that the more people exist, the harder better quality of life to achieve, lack of job opportunities, higher cost needed, and the worst is more crimes.

To sum up, to live longer is not as desirable as it is expected, even worse. No one can bear being a burden to someone else and never would they wonder to spend remaining time in the retirement house until the rest of their life. Moreover, the rapid growth of population is always a bad news.

Ejepe 7 / 4 1  
Dec 23, 2015   #2
hi lina, i have read your essay, it was so interesting. now allow me to give a lot of suggestion.

As fast as the improvement of medical care ( you can use "medical treatment" for variasion) day by day, there have been some consequences like people being to live longer not to mention the rise of life expectancy in the recent time. This development evokes a big question whether the benefits outweigh the drawbacks or not (better if you make more clear for your paraphase lina). In my point of view, there are more the dire effects rather than the positiveness (merit) as the result of this rapid change.

(better if you put main sentence here)It is undoubted that everyone desires to get (gaining) longer life to live . It would be pleasure if they can gather with (their (own) beloved people as much as they wish. To see (their (own) children growing up and getting married then, looking after (their (own) grandchildren and spending the whole life together seems to be the most wonderful dream wanted. (try to put other words in (...))


overall, this essay is very good lina. may you always obtain improvement. please pay more intention in reference devices like its, their, this etc.


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