Unanswered [1]
  

Home / Writing Feedback   % width   Posts: 2


The process of chocolate production; IELTS (Report)



the optimists 2 / 2  
Sep 28, 2012   #1
The diagram presents the process of chocolate production which is the all time favorite of all ages. Moreover, the other illustration also shows the way its price being separated and distributed to those participated in the process of production.

As can be seen in the diagram, making of chocolate is not just a matter of mixing and cooking using a stove. There is a need for special equipment particularly if a large production like in a factory is needed. On the other hand, dividing its price shows that a large amount of money is being allotted to the cost of ingredients and overheads as well as to the supermarket. Meanwhile, the small percentage of sales are only being given to the farmers who contributed for the main ingredient.

The cocoa, the main ingredient undergoes several processes before it became the delicious chocolate. It will be ground and will have two products which are cocoa liquor and waste. The cocoa liquor will then be transferred to a special equipment for pressing which will eventually become either a cocoa butter or powder. Sequentially, the cocoa powder and butter will proceed to the food industry for another certain production. On the other hand, the cocoa butter that underwent pressing will be mixed with sugar and other ingredients that will become an industrial chocolate.

On the other hand, the price of the chocolate is being divided into five parts, 2/3 of it will be given to the supermarket (34% of the money) and for the cost of ingredients and overheads (37% of the price). While, the remaining will be distributed according to different percentages; 15%, 10%, and 4% for the tax, the chocolate company, and the farmers, respectively.

dianephm 1 / 1  
Sep 28, 2012   #2
For the word ingredient, you could try replacing some with words like "components" or "factors"
Also, your introduction sentence could be worded better.

Try this:

Chocolate is an all time favorite treat among many types of age groups. This diagram not only presents the process of chocolate production in one illustration but also demonstrates how the value price is separated and distributed to those who contribute to the production process.


Home / Writing Feedback / The process of chocolate production; IELTS (Report)
ⓘ Need Writing or Editing Help?
Fill out one of these forms for professional help:

Best Writing Service:
CustomPapers form ◳

Graduate Writing / Editing:
GraduateWriter form ◳

Excellence in Editing:
Rose Editing ◳

AI-Paper Rewriting:
Robot Rewrite ◳