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IELTS Writing Task 2: Progress of mankind in recent years


sinchana2017 7 / 18  
Feb 14, 2017   #1
100 years ago people thought that the human race was steadily making progress in all areas of life. Nowadays, there is less certainity that it is so. In what areas do you think the most important progress have been made so far ? In what areas are more things needed to be done ?

Human's growth in all fields related to life



Over the last ten decades, humans have shown a steady growth in all fields related to life. However, it is observed that nowadays the invention by mankind in areas of life has reached a stagnant stage. The most intriguing inventions of this era are in the field of healthcare and technology. However, we need to take special measures and work on deriving methods to reduce global warming and pollution which are pressing issues.

To begin with, there are numerous innovations in all areas of life which contribute to a better life expectancy of mankind. First and foremost, medical inventions have shown extraordinary results in addressing the epidemic diseases suffered by humanbeings from ages. Malaria is the prime example which has been treated from grass root level. In addition, the research in the field of technology is highly valuable. With the technological improvements, the communication between people around the world is at the touch of a button and these improvements device some real benefits to the whole world. For example, with the introduction of the internet, skype and facebook people who are miles apart can communicate within a fraction of a second.

Nevertheless, there are fields which has been neglected by humans from quite sometime, which require immediate attention now. The most prominent issues that threaten human race are Global warming and pollution. Humans are indulged in deforestation and polluting the environment by burning fossil fuels which have a devastating effect on the whole world. In order to make the world livable, we need plant more trees and come up with action plans for reducing the pollution which in turn results in reducing the global warming.

All in all, human beings have shown exceeding improvements in all areas of life which helps us to stay healthy and explore more around the world. Despite this, the improvements in addressing the problems such as population and global warming are not considerable to the great extent.

Holt [Contributor] - / 7,935 2187  
Feb 14, 2017   #2
Sinchana, this is one of your better written and developed essays so far. Even though you have problems with writing proper nouns for things like Facebook and Skype as well as Global Warming, your discussion is somewhat clearer than the past. A word of advice though, do not present more than one example for each topic in an essay because you need to score well in the grammar accuracy portion of the test to bring up your score. Presenting just one fact for discussion will allow you to show off your English thinking skills, which increases your task accuracy, and your sentence development, in terms of grammar range. Do well on these two counts and the two other sections of scoring will also face an improved chance of getting a higher score. For this essay though, I do not think you can score higher than a 5 due to the grammar inaccuracies and incomplete concluding statement.
OP sinchana2017 7 / 18  
Feb 15, 2017   #3
Hi Holt,

Thanks for your feedback. I am not pretty sure about on which exact topic of grammar I should work on.
Is it possible to hightlight my mistakes

Thanks,
Sinchana
Holt [Contributor] - / 7,935 2187  
Feb 15, 2017   #4
In your presentation, each paragraph has 2 examples which you use to create your message regarding the topic provided, All you have to do in order to find the problems with your essay is to read your essay again after reading my previous comments. The grammar problems are quite clear in each paragraph and explained by me in thread #2. For a more specific example, to help you get a starting point, refer to the second paragraph where you discuss Malaria at the start, then move to technology later on. For a better developed essay, you need to use the 5 sentence requirement per paragraph to solidly discuss the example that you can best develop for the discussion. It is not good to present 2 under developed reasons because that does not accomplish much for you in terms of proving your English thinking and grammar development skills.


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