Hello everyone, actually I am taking IELTS exam in 2day. Can anybody give me some suggestion about this essay? Thank you!
Topic: Some people think it is more important for government spend public money on promoting healthy life style in order to prevent illness than to spend it on the treatment of people who are already ill. To what extend do you agree or disagree?
With the development of technology, there are plenty of medical efforts have been made, which are effective and safe than before. To do this, government plays an essential role to invest public money in it. Some people believe that it is more significant for government to allocate money to promoting healthy lifestyle to have a prevention of illness. I believe that not only the latter view is fairly important, but former view is also really significant.
In terms of healthy lifestyle, it should be highly realized by people. Firstly, plenty of diseases appear in our lives, such as cardiovascular diseases and various cancers, these are associated with living a healthy lifestyle. A healthy lifestyle includes such factors as non-smoking, healthy diet, regular physical activity, moderate alcohol intake and a sense of mental wellbeing. According to some evidence suggest that half of all cancers can be prevented by a healthy lifestyle. Furthermore, small changes in the choices people make can make a huge difference in a person's health.
Convincing evidence can be made that in the whole of Stockport, it is estimated that there are 43,000 people who smoke, 54,000people who binge-drink. Therefore, the government in Stockport made a decision to allocate money to help people to stay in healthy. From this event, we can clearly see that the government tends to concentrate on people in healthy lifestyle.
However, treat people who are already ill is also highly significant because it is related to a person's life. Advanced technology or method of treatment can effectively solve the issue of patients.
In conclusion, there is no doubt that allocation of treatment is completely demanded. But the medical technology has already been fairly satisfied and advanced. It is likely for government to spend public money on promoting healthy lifestyle in order to prevent illness or disease.
With the development of technology, there are plenty of medical efforts have been made, which are more effective and safer than before.-------------you need to use comparative forms when you say "than before"
Some people believe that it is more
significantimportant for governments to allocate money to promote ing healthy lifestyle to have a prevent ion of illnesses while others believe that they should spend more on treatment of the people who are already ill .