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'prophet Adam' - famous person from history



kukuh 4 / 6  
Apr 4, 2014   #1
If you could travel back in time to meet a famous person from history, what person would you like to meet? Use specific reasons and examples to support your choice.

Travel time is an activity which is absurd in this era. When I hear travel time, it reminds me of several films like Back To The Future, Terminator, and Doraemon because they are my favorite movies. We need machine time to do that and in fact, it is a tool that I dreamed when I was a child. If I had had machine time and opportunity to travel back in time, I would have chosen to meet prophet Adam. I extremely want to talk with him in that I have several question making me curious.

As we know, some people want back to the past seeing that it is an interesting matter. Personally, I will meet and create conversation with prophet Adam if I can travel across the time and space. Firstly, I am anxious to know about heaven. In my belief, prophet Adam is a first human on this our planet, but before he lived on earth, he had ever stayed in heaven. Then, he lived with angles, genie, and Satan. Furthermore, I just have a desire to find out illustration about the situation and condition in heaven. Secondly, In the story, prophet Adam was driven out from heaven by reason of he broke promise given by God. Satan is the cause of it all inasmuch as it succeed to make prophet Adam to do its persuasion that was deceiving prophet Adam by telling him to eat fruit which has been forbidden by God. God knew about it and chase away him from heaven directly. Accordingly, I want to ask about the taste of that fruit from heaven, which made him fall to the earth, for the reason that I want to find out whether the fruit was delicious or not. The last is about his wife as we know that prophet Adam was not live alone in this soil. He lived with a woman created by God and she was on duty to accompany prophet Adam. However, I still confuse about her names since she has several name different such as Hawwa, Eva, Chava, and Hava. Consequently, I hope he can tell me the name of his wife actually.

Nevertheless, several people do not like what I have said because they think I am a person that does not believe in the existence of God and it is contradicted in religion. Also, other people is possible to say that all of this has been written in the scriptures and it does not need in question anymore.

The aforementioned evidence examines that a famous person whom I desire to meet is prophet Adam inasmuch as I want to know about heaven, the fruit, and his wife name.

codeblue 5 / 9  
Apr 4, 2014   #2
which is absurd in this era
*considered to be absurd

if I had had ? what do you mean of this

in that I have several question making me curious.
*and instead of in

Personally, I will meet and create conversation with prophet
*i want to meet and talk - you could have said it this way.

pay attention to your grammar as well as subject verb agreement.after writing an essay, have some time to read .
Eva Novita Sari 47 / 67  
Apr 6, 2014   #3
Hi Mr.Kukuh,
I think after several (plural) is noun, so you should use S in question

I extremely want to talk with him in that I have several questions making me curious.

I still confuse about her names since she has several names different such as Hawwa, Eva, Chava, and Hava. Consequently, I hope he can tell me the name of his wife actually.

:)
Pahan 1 / 1824  
Apr 6, 2014   #4
Travel time is an activity which is absurd in this era. When I hear travel time, it reminds me of several films like Back To The Future, Terminator, and Doraemon because they are my favorite movies. We need machine time to do that and in fact, it is a tool that I dreamed when I was a child.

Well, all these sentences are totally out of topic. In the introduction, you need to have your concentration on introducing your topic to the reader. The above ideas have no relevance to your topic;

If you could travel back in time to meet a famous person from history, what person would you like to meet?

The focus should be on the person (in history) whom you would love to meet and not about time traveling. Always stay with the topic and do not attempt to deviate your writing from the main idea.
Purwati Ayu 7 / 14  
Apr 6, 2014   #5
We need machine time

time machine,

Adam was not live alone in this soil

did not live
BOMAT_IRA 29 / 39  
Apr 9, 2014   #6
Write be better brother... about your idea..:)
Eva Novita Sari 47 / 67  
Apr 10, 2014   #7
Hi...Mr.kukuh
I think your idea is very great, but that is impossible :)
dumi 1 / 6795  
Apr 10, 2014   #8
Well, all these sentences are totally out of topic. In the introduction, you need to have your concentration on introducing your topic to the reader. The above ideas have no relevance to your topic;

I quite agree with Pahan. Your writing should always be aligned with the topic/ prompt. Do not go out of topic. First introduce the topic to the reader and then tell whom you wish to meet. Then in your body paras, tell why you picked that person. Give examples to support those justifications. Is this essay for IELTS or TOEFL? You better mention the purpose in the title itself :)
eddies [Contributor] 25 / 1170  
May 8, 2014   #9
You need to introduce the issue completely. Also, it is good to conclude your introduction stating your opinion though this prompt leaves you more room saying

The aforementioned evidence examines that a famous person whom I desire to meet is prophet Adam inasmuch as I want to know about heaven, the fruit, and his wife name.

It is nicer if you could construct this paragraph with this pattern below:
1. a 'conclusion' signal: In conclusion, ....etc,
2. a summary of the main points or a restatement of the thesis (in different words!)
3. a final comment, based on the information in the essay
The final comment can be:
3.1. a warning or prediction (often using the first conditional: If ..., ... will ...)
3.2. a suggestion or recommendation (often using should or must)


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