Unanswered [14] | Urgent [0]
  

Home / Writing Feedback   % width Posts: 2


The proportion of car trips made by male and female drivers for 8 purposes in the year of 2005


Iloveielts 8 / 16 1  
Aug 6, 2022   #1

percentage of car trips by purpose and gender of drivers



Task 1:
The bar chart compares the proportion of car trips made by male and female drivers for 8 purposes in the year of 2005. Overall, the initial impression is that commuting to work was the most common reason for car travel for both men and women. It is also evident that visiting town, bank, running errands, visiting friends and recreation are the categories that witnessed the biggest difference between the percentage of males and females doing these activities.

In 2005, about 53% of males used their cars to drive to work, which was considerably higher than that of females, at about 37%. By contrast, there were slightly more women used cars for shopping than men, 17% compared to 10%. Similarly, the percentages of men and women driving to courses were fairly similar, at 8% and 12% respectively.

The differences between the proportion of male and female drivers could be seen when we compare the remaining categories. The percentages of women driving to bank, running errands and to visit friends were 8%, 10%,7% respectively, which were strikingly higher than those for men, at approximately 4%. On the contrary, while cars were used by roughly 12% and 8% of men for recreation and town visits respectively, fewer women favoured driving for these purposes, at nearly 3% for both activities.



Holt  Educational Consultant - / 14,835 4783  
Aug 6, 2022   #2
The trending statement is over extended. A trend is a singular measurement of one activity or action. As such, it is used only to establish the platform of the report. The writer has mistakenly began the actual report in the overview+trend section with the inclusion of a second observation that should have better served the essay by being included in the reporting paragraphs instead. The summary overview should cover at least 2 sentences. That way the highlights of the information are properly introduced and become more useful in the establishing paragraph. Rather than creating a 2nd trend, the writer should find another creative way of enumerating the listed information instead.

A task 1 essay needs to be written without bias. Therefore, no pronouns of any sort, not first,second, or third person, should be used in any part of the reporting paragraphs. Only general statements must be made as the objective is to inform rather than influence the reader. Pronouns must be used in the Task 2 essay, rather than the task 1 presentation.


Home / Writing Feedback / The proportion of car trips made by male and female drivers for 8 purposes in the year of 2005
Writing
Editing Help?
Fill in one of the forms below to get professional help with your assignments:

Graduate Writing / Editing:
GraduateWriter form ◳

Best Essay Service:
CustomPapers form ◳

Excellence in Editing:
Rose Editing ◳

AI-Paper Rewriting:
Robot Rewrite ◳