The proportion of male and female students studying six art-related subjects at a UK university

IELTS WRITING TASK 1: Bar chart

The chart below shows the proportion of male and female students studying six art-related subjects at a UK university in 2011.

This bar chart compares the figures for male and female learners participating in several art-related fields from Linguistics to Communication and Media Stud at a UK university in 2011.

It is noticeable that males surpassed females in the quantity of almost subject engagement, except Art and Design. Besides, English language and literature were the most favorable subjects of both male and female students.

Specifically, female learners were most interested in English language and literature taking up exactly 250 students, followed by Linguistics and Communication and Media Stud which were responsible for around 240 and 230 students respectively. By contrast, History and Archeology seemed to be least attractive to them. Similar to females, the figure for male students enrolling English language and literature were highest, while Philosophy learner statistic of male which were nearly three times lower than that of female stayed at the bottom of the list with approximately 50 people. Only in Art and Design majors did males overtake females in the number of participation by more or less 10 students.

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@an12102000
"It is noticeable that males ..." - This is a big mistake in your analysis as the figures are other way round .i.e. It is the no. of females that surpass the no. of males.

You can also better organize the content by writing 2 body paras : The male students para and female students para.

The above is my personal opinion not an expert one. Please correct me if necessary.

In the summary overview, you should not selectively indicate the courses offered. You have to enumerate all of the courses as a part of the summary listing. You should also divide the first sentence into at least 3 sentence presentations because you are compressing all of the information into one sentence which makes it confusing for the reader to comprehend. If you divide the presentation into sentence topics, you will be able to provide a clearer summary overview in that section.

Try to involve the usage of the numerical data from the image. You have to bear in mind that you are filing a summarized report for a specific audience. That means you need to use as much relevant and related information as you can from the image so that the reader can get a specific mental picture of what you are describing. When you avoid using the digits from the presentation, the reader tends to get confused. Leaving them wondering about how the data actually relates to one another.

It would be beneficial to your essay if you provide completely developed discussion paragraphs. Your second paragraph could use a little more development in terms of information presentation. The third paragraph tends to use the comma for most of the presentation which means you are stringing along information into a single sentence, creating a confusing presentation yet again. The clarity of the task 1 essay relies on the information per sentence. One thought presentation per sentence helps to preserve the clarity of the discussion.

Thank you so much for your advice!