1. Task: IELTS Writing Task 2
Many developing countries are currently expanding their tourist industries. Why is this the case? Is it a positive development?
2. Assignment:
These days, many countries are developing and promoting their tourist industries. In my opinion, this is a positive development, although there are many disadvantages.
The primary reason for the development of tourism in a country is due to the economic benefits that it brings to the country. The tourist industry is a low-risk investment that can increase the financial gains for the host countries. Through tax collection, the governments can use a part of this to invest in other long-term purposes such as education and the medical system. In addition, the well-developed tourist industry generates enormous wealth for the locals by taking advantage advantages of the already existent natural landscapes and providing local services. As a result, the locals' living standards and incomes are improving as well as the social security is becoming better.
However, the development of the tourist industry is the major factor leading to local environmental damage. For example, to serve tourists, many buildings are built on the expense of large primary forests and other types of untouched natural landscapes. The increase in garbage arising from the expansion of tourism is also a complicated issue in thriving countries. For instance, many well-known tourist destinations in Vietnam such as Phu Quoc Island, Ha Long Bay, and so on are threatened by trash littered from tourism activities. This is also the reason why many international tourists don't want to return to these sites.
In conclusion, I believe that although there are many threats are pose to the local environment in the countries that are active in promoting tourism, it is a worthwhile development because a well-developed tourism industry can bring many benefits in terms of economy.
This is my first post. Please give me some useful advices on style, argumentation, and vocabulary suggestions to help me get a higher score.
Thank you so much!
@ Ixora Ho
Holt Educational Consultant - / 15169
4859 There are 2 guide questions that need to be responded to in the first paragraph if you are to receive full scoring consideration rather than point deductions in the Task Accuracy preliminary scoring section. You need to properly respond to "Why is this the case" and "Is this a positive or negative development?". If you review your restatement, you will see that you did not give a brief explanation of why the tourism industry is being heavily promoted in developing countries. You also did not choose a single opinion to defend as a part of this single opinion essay. You cannot use the comparative discussion format because that is not the writing guide question that was provided to you. Therefore, the reasoning paragraphs of your essay are also incorrect. So it will not be possible for this essay to get a passing score since it did not meet the scoring requirements based on the guide questions.
I will suggest adding a thesis line at the start of the task, before you delve deeper into your points. This can be a summary of your stance on the question and the points you will discuss. Then, the reader will have a better time understanding your thought process and earn more marks.
i think you can give further explanation on the main idea of body1, like why "The tourist industry is a low-risk investment" or "tax collection" according to the topic's question. Beside, the idea of tourism's benefits can be used as a conclusion for body1 because i think if u too focus on these benefits, the examiner might think you are not understanding the topic and give a lower score on Task Respond criteria.
This is just my opinion, thank you for reading