task2; The pros and cons of living longer for human being

(any comments will be highly appreciated)

The longevity and science

Science will help people live longer. Some people think that it is good development, while others think it may cause problems. Discuss both views and give your own opinion.

Recent decades have seen an obvious increase in the life-span of human being as the science is gaining momentum. However, while someone argue that this change might bring us many risks, others, including myself, believe that this is of great benefit to human being.

It is certainly true that the increase of life-expectancy reflects the progress of civilization of human being. To begin, nearly everyone has the desire to live longer, as everyone's life is only once, living longer means people could have more time to explore this world better or just enjoy the quality time with families. Therefore, long life-span will cater to people's high demand of living longer. Moreover, it is sometimes true that longer life-span means more values, especially for those talented person. For example , if Einstein could live longer, our world might be a little bit more different in terms of physics.

Nevertheless, the increase of human's life-span has not all been beneficial to our societies. The first problem is connected with aging society. We would be confronted with problem of the distribution of social resources, e.g. national pension, social welfare. Meanwhile, several heavy industries might suffer from the lack of labor force. In addition, people will find difficult to support their parents, grandparents or even great-parents, it particularly hold true for those single-child families.

From what have been mentioned, it is fair to conclude that living longer for human being will beneficial to not only individuals but society. Although, it might generate many negative effect, I am convinced that those problems must be addressed.

Some people

risks, while others , including

Allen, I think your answered is well structured but I'm a bit confused about paragraph two.
I didn't understand how the arguments you proposed could reflect the progress of civilization. Maybe you should change that part or if you want to keep it I think you should provide different arguments, like how scientific progress made some diseases curable and how the economic growth led to an health that's affordable to most people. Also, in the same paragraph, I think you meant worth not values.

And when you were speaking about Einstein you should have used a third conditional:
"if Einstein could have lived longer, our world might be a little bit more different in terms of physics."

I think that once that you solve the second paragraph everything will become much clearer ! I don't see any major problems except from that.

Hi Jing, I will admit that this is one of the better developed essays that I have come across in the forum for the IELTS writing task 2 practice tests. In fact, even though there are one or two problem points in the way that you developed the essay, your presentation and clear discussion could probably still help you score anywhere between a 6 and 7 in the actual test. What problems do I speak of?

First and foremost, you use the term e.g. (exempli gratia) in the essay. That is an abbreviation that you should not use in formal academic writing. Specially during an English language based exam. No abbreviations, slang words, or writing shortcuts must be used. In academic writing, the best way to say this would simply have been to use the actual term "for example".

The next problem with your essay is that is does not use easily identifiable examples to illustrate your points. For example, you used Einstein and physics to prove the benefits of living longer. However, Einstein and Physics belong to a field that does not have any obvious benefits to the regular reader. So using another example, from popular culture would have been best. Something like "Computers may have continued to evolve better if Steve Jobs had lived longer", or something along those lines.

Basically, you did a good job in responding to the prompt. The mistakes you make can easily be avoided in your future writing tests. Keep up the good work. You are doing very well.