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Protecting wildlife through zoos?


hoangvutran123 1 / -  
Mar 15, 2017   #1

protect the wildlife means protect ourselves



Zoos are often seen as important but poor alternatives to allowing animals to remain in their natural environmentm. Discuss the advangtages and disadvantages of keeping animals in captivity and then give your opinion.

It is plausible that zoos has given the nature several positive impacts by preserve animals in capivity. On the other hand, it is argubly desperately condemned that some inevitable consequences cause the animals's aptitude and attitude changing compared to their natural kind in the artificial territories. However, I am strongly convinced that zoos is the most esseintial security system for the wild life.

First of all, some negative affects are calling our name worldwide. Animals's natural proliferation beyonded all the dispute will be limited and the zoos certainly to take the most significant responsibilities of the animal's losing their elemental behaviours. For instance, recent studies has indicaed that the animals are getting more and more tedious and regaredless to the others. It leads to a predictable consequence that zoo qualities are worsen day by day.

Despite of the terrible influencesn, the reality that animals are traumatically endangered by the illegal hunting while there are no really efficient approaches has been set-up by the gorvenment therefore reduce the biodiversity. Hence, zoos are playing a unreplaceable role in the animals conservation, with the main aim to protect fauna from the brutal deeds. Futhermore, economically speaking, zoos have contributed an paramount prominent globally in nations's economy especially african countries with the prestigious paremeters.

In conclusion, I particiularly agree with the statement that zoos are necessary for the human race in order to preservate animals because species interact each other. As a true result, protect the wildlife is protect ourselves.

Holt - / 7,529 2001  
Mar 15, 2017   #2
Hoang, since this is the very first essay that you have written for the IELTS practice test, I will give an allowance for the problems in your writing. For starters, the presentation of your ideas lack coherence. It is difficult to understand your statements in every paragraph due to the problematic grammar and sentence development. This causes stress on the part of the reader because I am unable to immediately understand what it is that you are trying to say. This is an English expression problem, meaning you have difficulty when expressing yourself in English.

Another problem with your essay is the format in which you wrote the essay. Rather than giving a stand alone opinion, supported by your own thoughts, concerns, experiences, or examples, you simply agreed with the previous statements that you made in the essay. The essay clearly indicates that you are supposed to deliver an opinion of your own, not a simple agreement. You have to defend your agreement in the form of an opinion statement.

These major problems with your essay development and presentation limited the probable score of your work to a 4 in the band score range. While it may be difficult for you to get started in improving your scores, just keep on writing. You will improve your score without even noticing it. The improvement of your score depends upon how you develop in your practice tests.


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