IELTS WRITING TASK 2: provide almost all young adults with access to tertiary education

It is neither possible nor useful to provide university places for a high proportion of young people.

To what extent do you agree or disagree?

Thanks to the rapid development of the economy, attending higher education in most countries seems to be quite popular. However, some people remain skeptical about the possibility and practical benefits of arranging adequate university institutions for the use of numerous students. In my perspective, I strongly disagree with that idea and will discuss all reasons in this essay.

To begin with, it is practical to provide almost all young adults with access to tertiary education. It is sensible that some people believe that the more educational institutes built, the more financial burden will be put on citizens. However, this problem could be tackled by properly and economically locating schools. For example, in Vietnam, instead of gathering all universities in some big cities, the Vietnamese government has encouraged several schools to implement their branches in some smaller cities. Thanks to this, the number of students attending these local educational places has increased noticeably. This also reduces financial burden on learners since they are able to cut expenditure on renting accommodation, food, and utilities.

Looking on the other side of the problem, the idea that the availability of universities is unhelpful is completely disagreed because of the fact that formal qualifications have a vital role in the future of young people. Therefore, if a student opts for pursuing tertiary education, he will be likelier to not only have opportunities to broaden his theoretical knowledge but also expand his social network and acquire practical skills by participating in extracurricular activities. This will be in his favour and differentiate him from other peers who choose to opt out higher education when both being considered by employers.

In conclusion, perceiving that giving access to higher education for a large number of young adults is not entirely impossible or worthless for two major reasons which are the sensible of schools' locations and the significance of pursuing university to students, I strongly believe that people should pay attention to this matter more carefully.

You did not need to include irrelevant information in the opening paraphrase. Use only the information located in the original prompt to retain the essence and subjectivity of the original presentation. To extend the response to the 5 sentence maximum, outline your 2 discussion topics after you present your extent opinion in the paragraph. That will help you score better because you will prove your ability to properly restate the prompt and also, outline your discussion points in a manner that helps the reader understand the flow of the presentation (cohesiveness).

In paragraph 2, you should have stopped after the justification of how the increased number of schools in smaller cities has helped increase student attendance. The topic of food, utilities and rent was not developed and as such, created a problem in the presentation. You were not able to justify that evidence presentation. So the paragraph became under developed and under explained. Without that extra topic, the paragraph was fully developed.

As for the 3rd paragraph, you should not have said that you are looking at the other side of the problem because you were still focused on the same evidentiary discussion. That of proving your point of view to be correct. That opening presentation in the 3rd paragraph threw the presentation off and would have affected the C&C score of your essay. To say you are looking at the other side of the problem means you will be presenting a opposing point of view discussion, which isn't what you did in that paragraph.

Good job on creating a concluding summary. Bad job in the discussion presentation. Do not use a run-on sentence. You need to present it in individualized sentences with one topic per sentence. You still need to meet the 3-5 sentence requirement for that paragraph.