Public transportation service - the role in contributing to the development of a smart city. Ielts 2

Task2: Many people believe that an effective public transport system is a key component of a modern city. Discuss the advantages and disadvantages of public transport.

pros and cons of public transport

Some people think that public transportation services play a role key in contributing to the development of a smart city. This essay will discuss both pros and cros of this view.

There are several advantages of effective public transport. To begin with, the traffic issue would be controlled if public transport, like bus or subway, runned effectively, representing a symbol of civilized and modern society. On a large scale, traveling easily enhances the economic growth as people would not waste time on traffic jam. For example, a businessman could save his time up to one and half hour to go to his workplace every morning on time by subway instead of being stuck in traffic jam in his private car. Moreover, the tourist industry in a city is also promoted when foreigner visitors no longer run the risk of being victimized by the fraud by passenger motorcycle. Last but not least, public transport help people save money since most of them costs much cheaper than taxi or private car.

Despite the advantages, public transportation has its various disadvantages. It is undeniable that public transport is unlikely to reach anywhere as they find it difficult to access the remote or isolated areas. Buses in Ha Noi city, for example, are unable to bring all passengers to anywhere they want, given that the Hanoi's infrastructure is so complicated. In addition, as the number of public transport is limited, they fall short of people's traveling needs. Finally, the quality of public transport services also needs to be improved because this would encourage citizens to use public transport instead of driving a car.

In conclusion, although there are some disadvantages of public transport existed, the demand of advancing and expanding public transport is inevitable for a modern city.

Thu, here is the thing. The prompt is asking to merely discuss comparison points regarding the advantages and disadvantages of public transport in a modern city. Under these instructions, you are not supposed to try to influence a reader towards a specific point of view. In fact, your point of view, as indicated in the conclusion of your essay is unnecessary and irrelevant as it is not required by the discussion instructions. Therefore, the essay is in error in terms of the discussion method presented.

There is also an error in the way that you presented the opening statement. An opening statement must be comprised of at least 3 sentences that represent a proper restatement of the original prompt. This will show how well you understood the instructions and how well developed your English vocabulary skills are when it comes to finding synonyms for certain words. The proper representation of the opening statement could have been:

A modern city requires the presence of a reliable transport system. This is a key component that many people believe define a modern city. This essay will strive to discuss the reasons that modern public transport have both an advantage and disadvantage in relation to its existence in a modern metropolis.

When it comes to your reasoning skills. I can see that you have a thorough understanding of the discussion points, but were unable to properly decide upon the one definitive response that could have represented the best advantage and disadvantage paragraph discussions in your essay. It is imperative that you choose to discuss only one topic per paragraph and fully explain yourself if you wish to score well in the C&C and GRA portions of the test. Present complete explanations in the paragraphs so that the examiners will be able to judge your actual English writing and thinking skills.

As of now, the main problem with your essay is that you have too much going on in terms of information so your explanations become weak or lacking in context. In your next essays, I need you to focus on informing your reader in a more concise manner. Don't present too much information. When you write a 30 minute essay, less is actually more because you need to develop your discussion in a manner that best reflects your English thinking, writing, and analytical skills.

By the way, your conclusion is not proper. You still need a total of at least 3 sentences to represent a complete paragraph as required by the C&C section.

@Holt
Dear Holt,
I admit that the main problem with my essay is that I am unable to explain the idea by the understandable and logic way so my topic sentence is not clear, resulting in the overlapping idea sometimes.

I really want you can show me the way to change my sentence to academic one or correct grammar at least.
Thanks you.