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IELTS writing task 2 - Punishments for environmentally unfriendly acts



MikaTan 2 / 2  
Apr 1, 2017   #1
In order for the world to be a greener place, punishment and fines for environmentally unfriendly acts committed by individuals need to be more severe.

To what extent do you agree or disagree? Give reasons for your answer and include any relevant examples from your own knowledge or experience. Write at least 250 words.


punishment and fines need to be more severe



With the rapid growth of population, many problems such as water shortages, waste of energy pollution are beginning to surface. These issues have lead to increasingly problem of environment trends. As for as I concerned, governments should sense a responsibility and take many factors into consideration.

To some extent, the increasingly fierce social competition that forced the rapid development in industries. For example, factories, chemicals processing are part of the majority that involved in pollution. These sectors are contributing and improving our economic growth but there are arguments in both sides. This lead to negative effects on water and air pollution that related to an serious part in our health. As the proverbs goes to " Every coins have its both sides, No garden without the weeds.

Furthermore, it is undoubtedly that human being keep abreast with the development of social status, therefore neglected the priority of the environment issue. For example, the younger generation prefer to have personal automobile in sense of convenience and gratification. These behaviors have lead to serious air pollution and furthermore road congestion. But they didn't notice the interest in the long run which health is more important than everything. In order to improve the current air conditions that we are facing now, certain effective measure need to be carried out which attach great importance to greener environment.

In conclusion, a better environment is indirectly related to our health. Personally, the advantages of punishments is far outweigh than the disadvantages. Every options has its pro and corns and we will need decide which benefit us in the long term priority to our well being, all else comes second.

(275 words)

Holt  Educational Consultant - / 15385  
Apr 1, 2017   #2
Tan, I don't know how to say this without hurting your feelings but, you have failed to properly discuss the prompt as per the topic given and the instructions provided. Therefore, there is no other score left for this essay except a 3. It seems you missed the keywords that indicated how the topic is to be addressed in the essay. The key terms were "Agree or Disagree" and "Give examples". The topic for the essay is "punishment and fines for environmentally unfriendly acts committed by individuals need to be more severe." None of these terms or instructions were addressed in your prompt paraphrasing and your succeeding discussion did not even come close to presenting the prompt discussion instruction. What you did was discuss a prompt that you made up, based upon what you understood of the original instructions. Unfortunately, your English comprehension skills failed you this time as you did not really understand what the topic was all about. Which is why you ended up discussing something totally different in the essay that you wrote. Nowhere in the essay did you even touch on the topic of a fining system in order to help prevent environmentally unfriendly acts. Neither did you agree or disagree with the statement, as required, in the opening statement. Overall, the essay was bound to fail because of your lack of thorough understanding of the prompt instructions and topic for discussion.


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