How many pupils have passed their high school exams, according to the subject and sex

The bar chart below shows the percentage of students who passed their high school competency exams, by subject and gender, during the period 2010-2011.

A breakdown of the information about how many pupils that passed their high school exams according to the subject and sex is depicted in the bar chart. It is measured in the percentage between 2010 and 2011. Overall, most female pupils had passed in computer science while male pupils were good at subjects that relate to calculation and linguistic.

Initially, girls were good at computer science. It was proved that the figure occupied in the first rank at 56,3%, nearly doubling with chemistry. Meanwhile, foreign languages and mathematics stayed at the second level at 47,4% and 49,2% in a row, that roughly twice as many as history figure. On the other hand, the percentage of geography was the least at 20,1% which physics experienced twofold bigger than it.

Concerning to the boys, they got almost the same ratio at foreign languages and mathematics. The figure showed at 46,8% and 48,4% successively while computer science stayed at 42,1% that twice bigger that history. By contrast, chemistry had the tiniest proportion at 14,1% which approximately half as many as physics and geography proportion at 34,6% and 30,4% respectively. (186)

• 
  15253424_10202218094.jpg
  

Septia, I can see that you have successfully maintained a recommended writing pattern for IELTS task 1. Yet, you need to be careful in selecting the place for the test. If some of your friends take the actual test in the same place as yours, either you or your friends will be penalized due to memorizing / imitating someone's writing pattern. Therefore, it is suggested for you to take different place/time for the test to avoid this problem.

However, some improvements are still needed in order to achieve a better score later on. First of all, there is no serious issues in the first paragraph. You only need to learn more about the difference between past perfect tense and past tense. In 2nd paragraph, I believe that in western, especially the United Kingdom, people use "period" instead of "comma" when writing percentage. So, 56.3% is correct, and 56,3% is not. Furthermore, if you want to achieve a high mark, 6 or above for Lexical Resource, try to not using "basic/beginner" words like "bigger". In the last paragraph, your sentence pattern is quite repetitive. Even though you have varied your words by using "respectively" and " successively" but the sentence pattern is merely the same. It is difficult to earn a high score in grammatical range and accuracy if you write repetitive sentence pattern.

Hope this helps :)