Nowadays, radio is being replaced by TV and the internet. To what extend do you agree or disagree with this idea?
At the advent of the radio in the nineteenth century when it was developed as transmitting electromagnetic sound wave, it was another revolution afterwards the first printing press invented. It was so popular that every home used to have a radio for news and entertainment. Large numbers of the national and international radio stations were established in different languages and it became the sole every heart of people. The use of radio is not limited to the household radio and its use was broadening in aviation, navy, military, police force and many more. BBC was the first worldwide radio for 24 hour news transmission. It remained the means of news and knowledge spewing for nearly hundred years and still does.
Furthermore, after the arise of the TV and Internet though the paradigm has been shifted in new mode of use of radio because it still has its dominancy over TV and internet as its application is modified to use in gadgets like mobile and online transmission. As mobile are reduced in size and handy in use the radio applications are frequently used in such gadgets. People are working on computers and are listening online radio music as means of avoiding their work ennui. So the use of radio is not fade way though its use is more handy in every indoor and out door use.
On the other side of the coin, the TV remained only as the home appliance for viewing some popular serials, live documentary, sports and news in a spare time. People watch TV only at evening time those who are tired from whole day work they use the TV as baby lullaby for nap and good sleep. The use of TV is so restricted to personal bedrooms, dinning halls, waiting rooms. Over dominance of commercial advertise and fictitious serials TV viewers are also limited.
Remarkably, the blooming of the FM radios stations are the sole means of entertainment and source of news in every town and in country side. They are highly popular in metro city to rural village of the every country for listening music, news updates and talk programs. Some international radio like BBC, Voice of America, china radio international and radio Dutch are still popular in their short wave, medium wave and FM transmissions. The radio BBC has celebrated its eighty years birthday and its broadcasting is broadening nearly worldwide hundred cities 24 hours transmission for news and documentaries in art culture and science. The programs are so standard and no any media can compete with it. It has preserved the oldest ever recorded programs; last week I got a chance to listen the First World War declaration as a recorded document.
Conclusively, though the advent of TV and Internet has not fade the live of radio but it has still reliable means of transmission worldwide.
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Overall, I think your essay is quite long and good, and your vocabulary is wonderful and extremely accurate. However, you should somehow write more clearly, especially you should pay attention to grammar and punctuations, since the lack of punctuations makes your essay really confusing in some parts. I hope this helps, and thank you for your essay.
Dear Linh Vuong Nguyen,
Thank you so much for correction. I am very glad. For the bellow sentence can I write 'and' in spite of "though" if so.
-So the use of radio is not faded though (I'm not sure what's the use of 'though', since two clauses don't contradict each other) its use is more handy in every indoor and outdoor use.-
Please could you help me to check more one ?
I need 7 in writing in IELTS, I am totally hopeless. I have only two weeks remained for my test date. please help me.
The elderly people of over 50 years of age should be retired and be replaced by the young. Do you agree or disagree?
Adult people above 50 years of age should be given up with their job and they are replaced by the youngsters. This strategy seems quite persuasive as young workers are more efficient and give more output and it will be golden opportunity for young employment but paradoxically it is true that the companies, firms and institutes need highly experienced and matured people who can handle the things properly and they are the basement and pillars for such firms.
Admittedly, the adult employees are the inevitable manpower for companies and firms as they hold the life long work experiences and acquired skills and knowledge. So laying off such people may be disastrous results and may lead towards the peril for companies and firms. So the age barrier limiting above is not the exact right policy as the people who are only crossed five decades are still highly active and do very well performances. By research it has found that the senile degeneration starts only after the age of 65 but it is still in slow pace and hence they still can work properly. People who are the age of 50s are the gurus and they can lead in right direction, for example, highly experienced company managers, teachers, professors are the backbones for every progress. They are the think tankers and able to implement the policy without any subjectivity in every scenario. They can deliver better skills, and knowledge to train new ones.
Furthermore, large number of companies and institutes still prefer the experienced ones and they are the only reliable persons who can avoid from sinking the firms being they are the matured ones. As we know young drivers are more liable to higher accidents as compared the old matured ones. The young people are more enthusiastic and may deserve more entrepreneurship and though, their hasty manner of decision making may lead towards hazardous situation as the young drivers who drive in high speed lead to accident. There is an adage slow and steady wins the race. Since old people are serene in mind, do not easily upset in trouble; they can stir the ship smoothly even in the great storm.
In contrast, if the above the age of 50s workers are laid off, it not only the loss of skilled man power but the policy is pernicious for such individuals. The laid off people have to stay idol and this is so frustrating to themselves to stay at home without any job. Those retired people who have to stay at home and they even do not get company to pass their time. So it is totally wrong turn policy to such earlier retirement.
Conclusively, the laying of people at the age of 50s is not a proper way as they are still in productive and more understanding, more reliable person to handle the firms and companies as compared to green persons.
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