'Radio and Television users' - IELTS - Line Graph

I'm going to take an IELTS exam within two months. This is my first thread whose image attached at the end. So please read and feedback to me :) Thanks in advance.

This line graph indicates the percentage of over 4-years old users in Radio and Television during the day in the period of October - December 1992.

Overall, the rate of two type of audiences remained unstable with Television surpassing Radio during 1:00 - 12:00 pm.
In detail, after a slight fluctuation between 3% and 7% for the first eleven hours of day, proportion of Television audiences dramatically climbed to the peak of 45% at 9:00 pm, followed by a rapidly fall to 15% in the last hour of day.

By comparison, the rate of Radio users which stabilized for the first six hours raised significantly to the highest point of 25% at 8%, before a gradually decline to 5% at the last hours of day.

An emphasizing note in graph is that only at the 1:00 pm did the both of two types of audiences meet each other in percentage of population.

152 words - 17 minutes.

Looking forward to seeing your feedback :)
Again, thanks a lot :)

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looks nice. good luck

This is not very clearly presented :(
The line graph illustrates the average percentage of UK viewers (over four years) for Radio and Television during a day in the period of October to December 1992.

I think you follow the most appropriate structure for this task. Overall, you've done a good job :_
Good Luck!

At first, I think "over-4-years" can be used as an adjective but I think it is better if I use a small note like you did.

Come what may, thanks in massive :)