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IELTS WRITING TASK 2 - THE RAPID ADANCEMENT OF TECHNOLOGY DEVELOPMENT - PROS AND CONS



hhan666 1 / -  
Jun 24, 2023   #1
With the rapid advancement of communication technology, eg smart phones, tablets and other mobile devices, some people believe that the disadvantages outweigh the advantages.

To what extent do you agree or disagree?



In today's contemporary world, technological progress in the field of communication is being made at an unremitting pace, which, according to a significant part of the population, does more harm than good. From my viewpoint, though the merits of such an improvement is indisputable, I firmly align myself with the aforementioned opinion for some reasons.

Admittedly, the exponential growth of technology does wonders for humankind to some extent, most notably on the communication front. Firstly, the advent of cellphones and other mobile devices has paved the way for an unprecedented rate of online communication and globalisation. Indeed, these gadgets has given us brand-new options such as emailing, text messaging, etc. aside from the conventional face-to-face method of contact. This enables people across the world to break geographical barriers and strike up relationships online, thus widening their social circles and opening up numerous career and marital opportunities. Secondly, via social media and news platforms, people get to keep themselves up-to-date with the latest news around the world 24/7. For instance, just a couple of minutes after the announcement of the precidency of Donald J. Trump in 2017, this news has made the headlines in Vietnam, a country half a globe away from the USA.

That said, these advantages can not make up for the potential dire consequences that can be brought about by such scientific improvement. While it enable many interpersonal relationships to come into inception, some of which turn out to be unreliable and deceptive. This is due to the fact that nowadays it is rather simple for people to fake their identity online for some ulterior motives, such as tricking other people into sending them money or personal information and use it to blackmail these people. Additionally, although the speed at which news spread on the internet is undeniably fast, there is no insurance that all pieces of news posted online are 100% trustworthy. In fact, many news agencies and media companies frequently distort the truth and release fake information to catch as much public attention as possible. With regular exposure to these news, people, especially children and young adults whose perceptions are still naïve, can be persuaded to take on distorted views of the world that would cause them to do harm to others.

In recapitulation, though progressions in technology generally benefit people by fostering social connections and contributing to the widespread growth of the media industry, these are far from enough to compensate for the risk of virtual fraud and malformation.

check my essay and give a specific breakdown score pls <333

Holt  Educational Consultant - / 15385  
Jun 25, 2023   #2
The prompt restatement took a long time to restate the information provided, then proceeded to become an empty statement as the reasons that the writer strongly supports the given statement was ommitted in the short form response. Without the basis of the writer's opinion, the clarity of the presentation in this paragraph is negatively affected.

Now, while your opinion is somewhat clear to the reader, even without the establishing reasons, you were expected to strongly support your statement in the reasoning paragraphs. You were not instructed to write a comparison essay as to why both reasons are correct. You are to prove your statement as the sole correct one. That means, using 2 reasoning paragraphs to convince the reader that you actually have viable reasons for your opinion.

The lack of 2 supporting reasons in this presentation will be the reason why it cannot receive full points consideration in terms of discussion development. The score given will be based only on a partially supportive essay. No points are ever given for paragraphs that do not show the development of your valid reasons. This is not a passing essay presentation.


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