THE RATIO OF BIRTH AND DEATH IN NEW ZEALAND

New Zealand's fertility and death rate

The line graph gives information concerning the changes in New Zealand's fertility and death rate over the period from 1901 to 2101.
Over the 60-year period, from 1901 to 1961, there was a considerable change in the birth rates of New Zealand. In more details, the birth rates fluctuated slightly between 20000 and 30000 during the first 40 years from 1901 to 1941 then growing exponentially to 65000 in 1961. Afterwards, the rate varied considerably from 50000 to 65000 until the present day and it is anticipated to fall slowly to 40000 in the end of the century.

The death rates, meanwhile, rose gradually from 9000 to nearly 30000 in the twentieth century and maintained at over a half of the birth rates. This was followed by a period of rapid acceleration, with death in the country reaching the peak of 60000 in 2061. However, the following 4 decades is expected to have no more significant changes.

Overall, the huge gap between New Zealand's birth and death rates is probably being reversed at around 2041 ever since.

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"then growing exponentially". You need a comma at this point to break the sentence. It should have been "from 1901 to 1941, and then it grew..."
Or you can use "before" instead.
"in the end of". There is only "at the end of sth"
" ever since". I think it is a little bit risky because you are only discussing about the given period from 1901 to 2101.

Clarify your format. The first paragraph should have only the following summary:

- Type of graph
- Measurement indicator
- Years covered
- Sources of measurement
- Trending statement

You must start a new paragraph for every data comparison that you provide. It should not be made as a part of the trending statement as the aforementioned statement is one that creates the direction for the information reporting in the essay. The information presentation should have had its own paragraph starting with; "In more details..."

You covered everything in the essay except the comparison where relevant. Which means, you did not notice the overlapping information that would have responded to that task requirement. You missed indicating that:

The data for birth and death has been projected to overlap at about 45 % between the years 2021 and 2041.

Such a comparison point is important in the analysis of the line graph because it shows the assumed / expected population of the people from New Zealand during that projected time period.

thank you so much !