Hi everybody,
Please help me with some correction and suggestions . I need to pass an exam in order to get a job.Thank you very much.
Reading is to mind what exercise is to body. But I wander if in this era of computer and television children are willing to read. I think they are more willing to spend their time in front of screen. That is why in their formative years, school and family should emphasis children on reading. It is very important because reading helps in brain development , but television and computers are non- stimulated in brain growth .
In my opinion, reading has a lot of advantages , and it is the key to success. By reading, children expand and enrich their vocabulary , and gain a clear perspective on word usage. Also they get a better perspective of how to put thoughts to words in a better way, and help their writing skills ,as well. By reading they gain lots of information, and skills in handling complex ideas. The more they read, the more information they pick up. That leads to a core of knowledge, which is very useful in various classes. For example, my friend's daughter who graduated for high school this year, had had many projects for different classes. She had to write about genetically modified food, credit cards, globalisation, and such. She met many new and difficult terms, but I noticed that her previous reading years helped her a lot, and no other activity builds the vocabulary and comprehension skills as reading.
On the other hand, in addition to improving school progress , reading expands children's horizon. Without living the room, they can explore the frontiers of Old West or space .By reading, they can learn something useful or can have an advice from people who deal with the same problems like them. They can have a laugh just sitting in an armchair with a magazine, or travel around the world and space. Reading allows them to venture into the word of kings and empires and enriches their historical knowledge. My daughter was very excited to read books about princes and princesses, and because of them she loved History, and she was the best in her class.
Therefore, parents and teachers have the responsibility to improve children's reading habits. They should be motivated to read both in school and at home. In school, they should have a day a week for library . When I was a student in elementary school , the teacher gave us a list with the novels we had to read each year. We were also expected to have a notebook with all the novels summarised there. I was allowed to add stickers or to draw on the notebook, and it motivated me to read in order to draw something about the theme. In my opinion, it is a great motivation for children to read.
They could also be offered books that were turned into movies. The goal is to focus them on reading , and school should work with family as a team. The parents have to do a daily reading schedule with their children in the first years of school, in order to open their appetite for reading. Children really need to read books besides their curriculum , because reading is the key of success and it is beneficial for their future.
Hi.
I think the person above me already suggested great revision.
I just wanted to add a few minor ideas.
I'm not sure whether the topic is about the reading's effects on students and possible solutions for make children read.
Whatever the topic is, your essay having strong points by suggesting your daughter's experience as supporting details.
But the important point is the term "Reading".
We also read in the cyberspace.
I think you restricted vocab "Reading" in paper based copies.
If you want to define reading for books, you have to mention why internet based information is not reading but sort of looking or watching. Your essay seems to give me the idea that you did not write about reading but about books.
Moreover, your details are all focused on the same result-fluency in school work. However, rather than just stating that the ultimate goal is better school work, it would be more organized essay if you write like "Due to the reading's effects, children would gain this, this, and this. For the children who have lots of these, better school work is natural and additional results."
Finally, it is quite hard to recognize what your paragraphs are talking about. It is true that you wrote lots of ideas about school's effects, but each paragraph does not have clear topic sentence. In order to revise this, first paragraph for example, could be changed like "Reading is fundamental step for children to evolve their knowledge status." The next paragraph can be also modified as "Furthermore, reading is also higly conducive for emotional development for children" The rest of the sentences can be filled with your great details.
You have awesome ideas and details in your written essay. The only thing you need to do is organize you essay. You know after you sketch, the only thing you need to do is draw clear line on those vague pencil lines. If you just revise your essay with clear topic sentences and orgnized details, I don't doubt that the grades would be high enough.
