Unanswered [5] | Urgent [0]
  

Home / Writing Feedback   % width   Posts: 2


Rebecca MacKinnon: We can fight terror without sacrificing our rights



mdamanhuri77 22 / 18  
Sep 27, 2016   #1
The biggest issue for our democracy is how we reduce terrors without sacrificing and violating a human's right. Rebecca MacKinnon became several workers in journalist, researchers etc, she concluded that our democracy do not double down on securing and defending human rights.

Take Tunisia as the example, It was a succesfull country to revolute to be democracy country but five years after that, they got serious invasion by ISIS recruitment and the citizens ask the governement to take them safe with everything. Iyad el-Bagdhadu, an activist who make a joke of ISIS on Twitter and he got his account suspended because he shared about the leader of ISIS.

So, these social network companies has a vital role to discourse the public. They have to fix this problems to avoid inadequate way of people see now in the particular media. They need to be tranparrant to the Users about their mechanism. Rebecca believes that, finally, we can tackle the cutting-edge empowered network of extrimist to be more peaceful world in the future.

RAY93 35 / 166  
Sep 27, 2016   #2
there are still some similarities between your work and the source vocabulary that mean you still need to show efforts in how you make summary by relying and enhancing your lexical resource.

Rebecca MacKinnon became several workers in journalist, researchers etc

wrong and confusing statement. by your writing, reader may grasp that what you mean is that Rebecca had worked on several profession before. in fact, what she mean on her speech is that she has worked with many people with different occupation background

our democracy do not double down on securing and defending human rights.

completely same words with the source. what you did can not classified as summarizing. you only copy paste several important facts without even change the words. this will not build your writing and reading comprehension

the same case happened at the rest of your writing. Thus, there is no importance for me to give feedback on yours since i can conclude that this writing is not yours.

by reading, paraphrasing, and summarizing, you will have a chance to enhance your reading and writing skill at the same time. unfortunately, you just miss the opportunity. good luck


Home / Writing Feedback / Rebecca MacKinnon: We can fight terror without sacrificing our rights
Need Writing or Editing Help?
Fill out one of these forms:

Graduate Writing / Editing:
GraduateWriter form ◳

Best Essay Service:
CustomPapers form ◳

Excellence in Editing:
Rose Editing ◳

AI-Paper Rewriting:
Robot Rewrite ◳

Academic AI Writer:
Custom AI Writer ◳