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Essay regarding the consumption of unhealthy food

Axis0019 4 / 7 1  
Jun 6, 2022   #1
Many people like to eat unhealthy food even though they know it's bad for them.

Why? What are the most effective ways to improve people's eating habits?

Many individuals tend to consume food that is not good for their health despite knowing its adverse effects. In this essay, I will discuss that being tastier is the main reason why unhealthy food is consumed as much. Furthermore, making healthy food more accessible and increasing awareness about hazardous effects of junk food are the best methods of making people's eating habits better.

People eat unhealthy and junk food because it tastes much better. This is because there is excessive amount of salt and oil, which is what threatens our health, in this type of food. These ingredients stimulate our taste buds more than other types of food and makes us conusme more of it. Fast food such as burgers and pizzas, for instance, have large amount of oil and salt among other ingredients, which makes them tastier and so popular. Thus, the tastier the food is, the more likely it is to be consumed more.

Nevertheless, there are two methods that can help improve eating habits of people. Making healthy food cheaper and more accessible is the first method. People buy junk food because healthy food such as fresh vegetables and fruits are often priced much higher than their unhealthy counterparts. In America, for example a burger is around two dollars, while a dozen of bananas are more than five dollars. Thus, currently people can feed themselves on much less if they only bought junk food. Additionally, increasing awareness about the adverse effects of junk food can also help. People often underestimate the hazardous effects of unhealthy food. In other words, they think junk food might only make them fatter. Hence, it is necessay to make people aware of the actual adverse effects, specifically obesity and caridac problems among others, through advertisements or public campaigns.

In conclusion, people eat junk food despite its dangers to the human health due to better taste. Moreover, making people more aware and making healthy food more accessible are the best methods of curbing people's eating habits.
Holt  Educational Consultant - / 13,223 4319  
Jun 6, 2022   #2
This essay contains a very well developed paraphrasing and highly informative opinion statement. Both of which will help increase the preliminary score of this discussion.

The writer shows a clear grasp of the reasoning expectations and shows an ability to discuss these as needed. While his discussions are clear, he may want to consider the use of more linking references in the discussions. He should also avoid stating: "For example", since the mention of the reference already indicates that.

Avoid the use of placement holder words and other commonly used linking phrases like "in other words" as these are seen as memorized phrases learned in IELTS review classes. Develop more original representations.

The writer has done a passing job with this presentation. Just note the above observations for additional improvement going forward.
OP Axis0019 4 / 7 1  
Jun 6, 2022   #3
Thank you very much
hoangtran 2 / 4  
Jun 10, 2022   #4
You can use "therefore" instead of "thus" to avoid repeating

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