Too much reliance on technology will impede people from becoming successful and independent leaders

Hi, everyone. Please leave comments on my essay below.

"The luxuries and conveniences of contemporary life prevent people from developing into truly strong and independent individuals."

Write a response in which you discuss the extent to which you agree or disagree with the statement and explain your reasoning for the position you take. In developing and supporting your position, you should consider ways in which the statement might or might not hold true and explain how these considerations shape your position.

Ans:
People living in this modern era have indulged themselves in a world of science and technology. The luxuries and conveniences of modern life, which are always taken for granted, have impeded people's urges to strive and evolve into better individuals. Examples of these luxuries are calculator, computer and Global Positioning System (GPS) device- luxuries of technology age which have latent detrimental effects on people in the long run.

First and foremost, people living in the twentieth century have perverted science discoveries. Calculator is invented to perform complex mathematical solutions. However, for the sake of convenience, primary students are now taught to use calculators to perform simple calculations. The more attached these students are to calculators, the more incompetent they are in solving basic mathematical solutions mentally. This will, doubtless, deteriorate the wonderful minds of these primary students and hinder them from becoming successful and independent leaders in the future.

Computer, thought to be an invention for the good of all mankind, is another great example to show how technology impacts on humans' daily lives. Although a computer allows for convenience, too much dependence on this luxury will impair the analytical skills of mankind. For example, the data generated using Microsoft Excel might be incomplete and inaccurate. However, it is a common fallacy that computer is too powerful to be wrong. Due to this implicit trust in computer, people refuse to use their innate ability to apply logical thinking to gathering and analysing information. Hence, the thinking and problem solving capacities of these people will surely deteriorate in the long run.

Another luxury which has harmful effect on people is Global Positioning System (GPS) device. While less people sticking to the traditional way of using a map and a compass, more people using GPS to show them the directions to their destinations. If GPS failed due to certain reasons such as bad weather conditions and battery problems, people would have problem getting to their destinations as they do not know how to read a map and operate a compass.

Some people might argue that these luxuries are valuable tools for the advancement of a country. While it is impossible to definitely disprove this assertion, and it may be true that these luxuries and conveniences of contemporary life have their virtues, most examples point to the fact that these luxuries would lead to weak and dependent personality. In conclusion, it is true that too much reliance on technology will impede people from becoming successful and independent leaders.

---------- you have an interesting way of presenting your ideas. So why not say this with a punch. You can surely improve this sentence.


I suggest;
the more incompetent they become in solving mathematical solutions logically.

This will, doubtless without a doubt, deteriorateweaken the power of wonderful minds of these primary students and make them become slaves of devicesthat ultimately hinder them from becomingtheir opportunities to be successful and independent leaders in the future.


strong sentence :)


to gather and analyse / for gathering and analyzing

You write so well... Good Luck!

Hi duminda,

Thank you for your time again. For once, words fail me. You have been a great help since I joined this forum.

Thanks Vivian :)
I always enjoy reading your essays... you write so well and it's pleasure to comment on your threads ... Keep posting :)

First and foremost, people
>>> first and the foremost , prople

This will, doubtless, deteriorate the wonderful minds
>>> This will undoubtedly deteriorate the wonderful minds ( instead of "Wonderful" I would suggest any other word that resonates " sharp- In learning or progressive " meaning)

You are really good writer!

Prople was my typo . My bad!
Prople = people

Hi D.Baniya,

Thank you so much. I will change that immediately..