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Ielts essay required to discuss both sides of a different opinion and to reach a conclusion



akki 1 / -  
Nov 1, 2020   #1

boarding schools for kids



Question:
Some people feel that boarding schools are an excellent option for children, while other people disagree for a number of reasons. consider both sides of this debate and reach a conclusion.

Answer:
Some believe that boarding schools are the best for children to study. However, this idea is not entirely straightforward. Some people argue the opposite side because of several reasons. This essay will discuss the debate and give a concluding view.

On the one hand, those who support study in boarding schools believe some educational benefits children can have. This includes an extra focus on study and more participation in extracurricular activities. Another argument is children will develop some good characteristics while studying in boarding schools. For instance, care and responsibility. These qualities might be induced in children because they have to take care of their daily routine tasks on their own. Finally, it might be said that children will learn to be independent. As a result of this, they will learn a lot of life skills as they try to take care of their needs.

On the other hand, opponents of this view, point out that children will have a lack of parent's care and love if they choose to study in boarding schools. Another reason is some children may feel homesickness sometimes as they are residing away from family. This may result in stress or some mental health problems for children. The outcome of this may affect their study or they can lead to bad habits.

In summary, it appears that children can get a better study, develop some good qualities, and learn to be independent while studying in boarding school. However, it does not seems a prime idea as they lack family love and face so many problems because they live alone and far away from home.

ody0397 3 / 5  
Nov 1, 2020   #2
Hi Akki, I can comprehend your essay perfectly. I think in terms of flow of the essay it is already understandable, however, you need to work more on the grammar at some points. I also think that it will be better if you can also add examples on the third paragraph
chinhsy2 4 / 5  
Nov 1, 2020   #3
A quick glance at the essay tells me that your essay is under the amount of words required in an IELTS writing task 2. You need to write AT LEAST 250 words to fulfill the need of the task. However, word count aside, your essay contains good arguments and will get better if you develop them.
Holt  Educational Consultant - / 15460  
Nov 1, 2020   #4
We do not offer scoring of essays for non-URGENT postings. Scoring is reserved only for URGENT and privately reviewed essays. Any student that scores and essay for another student will be suspended.

Ignore the advise above about your essay not coming in at the word count. You have written the correct number of words for this essay, 269 words. Just enough to get a maximum scoring considerations all around. The main problem with your essay is that it runs counter to the comparative discussion format. Which tells me that you just made up the discussion requirements for this essay. You will never be asked to come to a conclusion in a Task 2 essay. You will be asked to compare 2 points of view then offer your own opinion instead.

Your first sentence does not make sense. Boarding school is not the best for children to study. Rather, it is the best PLACE for children to study. The actual discussion is missing the personal opinion paragraph. You are supposed to write the personal point of view before you write the concluding paragraph. The concluding paragraph, should only offer a summary of the given information in the discussion or reasoning paragraphs. You cannot close this essay in this manner, you will not get a passing score with this type of discussion and presentation. There are errors in spelling, along with coherence and cohesiveness issues in this essay which, when combined, will result in an unexpectedly low score for you.


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