The requirement that employees should dress smartly. Is it more important than the quality of work?

IELTS Task 2 ESSAY

Write about the following topic.
Some organisations believe that their employees should dress smartly. Others value quality of work above appearance.

Discuss both these views and give your own opinion.

Give reasons for your answer and include any relevant examples from your own knowledge or experience.
You should write at least 250 words.

--- my essay as follows ---

An organisation when interviewing a candidate for a job role they often test him/her on the basis of how the candidate presents themself and their skills to decide whether the person best fit the job requirement. This essay discuss about an organisations believes on employees to dress smartly or value quality of work over appearance and will be in favour of latter.

Firstly, when an organisations wants their staff to dress smartly, the main reason behind this is that it helps people feel more confident and gives a sense of responsibility towards work. Employee who do not dress properly indicates lack of intrest and especially when it is the leads or senior management it gives out a message of unprofessionality and it might directly impact the work and the growth of an organisation.

On the other hand, some argue that the quality of work is more important that dressing smartly as quality in work and its outcome is what which brings customers or users to the organisation. Hence helps in achieving an organisation goals. Dressing comfortably helps the employees to work with concentration and for extented period of times.

In my opinion, dressing smartly should only be a chooice not mandatory and I believe quality of work has greater importance over appearance.

In conclusion, even tho dressing smartly help some employees in differnent ways without quality it will become difficult for an organisation to grow consistently and achieve it's goals.

The first paragraph contains a full sentence of information not related to the original information presented. This created a prompt deviation on your end, which means you changed the discussion topic of the original presentation. You will find scoring deductions applied to your essay because of it. The last sentence, is a direct cut and paste of the original discussion, which means this paragraph uses cut and paste phrases. This essay will receive an automatic failing TA score due to these errors.

You have not used any pronouns in the general discussion of the 2 reasons provided. Therefore, you are not appropriately meeting the GRA scoring requirements in terms of sentence structure and person reference (pronouns). You also lack the minimum sentence requirement for each paragraph. You need to present between 3-5 sentences in each presentation to meet the paragraph requirement.

Your personal opinion is the worst presentation in this essay. You failed to properly discuss and justify your reasons. You have a severely uninformative, improperly referenced, and undeveloped discussion. That sentence alone is enough to garner you an overall failing score for this presentation. Since you only wrote 431 words for this essay anyway, it is guaranteed to get a failing score. After all, the minimum word count is 250. Overall, there is nothing in this written presentation that meets the requirements of a Task 2 essay.