Resources should be spent more on animals or human population ?

human's demands are more crucial than animals protection

Theseday witnessed a numerous individuals doubt the need of sponsoring wild animals while there is still a range of poors at risk. From my perspective, I would say that protecting living species is indispensable but nothing compared with prioritise humanity.

On one hand, since animals are just like us, living creatures, then they do need basic rights and supports in order to be fulfilled. Those living in wild environment even seek for more lavish care from human as the more modern our life is, the more of them are put in vulnerable condition. Nowadays, some authorities around the world spend a significant budget for defending wildlife campaigns, through a lot of factual actions, for example building national parks, providing hi-tech security networks, launching brand-new high quality medical centers for only animals, and so on. These policies not only present the countries' attention and sympathy for faunas, but also show off their powerful economic potential.

On the other hand, the animals' importance is sometimes overated and some nations neglect a more worth-concerned aspect, human's demands. There are still children who are not allowed to reach educational training, underprivileged dwellers who do not have living spaces and poor patiences who can not achieve professional therapy. Is animals' happiness noticeable in such world ? Mankind controls the destiny of the whole world and is the highest creature above all, therefore, increased funding to advocate those in need is extremely essential and it should be taken under consideration before any financial support for animals.

In conclusion, I strong ly believe that other living species share a noteworthy obligation in life. Meanwhile, human is by far more valuable and as a consequence, resources should be spent on homo sapiens than any other objects.

This is a 5 paragraph essay presentation. The requirement is for you to discuss both public points of view, using separate paragraphs, before you present your personal opinion, also as a stand alone paragraph. Based on what I can see, you did not follow the required format for the discussion. You did not use the proper public point of view group pronoun references, this created an overall personal essay opinion discussion as opposed to a balanced 3 point of view perspective. Balance the discussion using the individual paragraph reference to each point of view. Use second or third person / group pronouns in the public point of view discussion, then use the first person point of view references in your personal opinion. Never make the personal point of view a simple single sentence reference in the concluding paragraph.

When you present your personal point of view in the concluding paragraph, you create 2 errors:

1. The lack of proper reasoning, explanation, and discussion that will help convince the examiner about your personal point of view;
2. The improper conclusion of the essay. You created an open ended, rather than full circle discussion anchored on the proper summary presentation of the topic and points of view discussion points.

If you want to score better, you must avoid making these mistakes in your presentation as these have some major points deductions considerations in the final scoring consideration.