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TOEFL: respect and loyalty are the conspicuous qualities that all children should have



hamedmas 27 / 48  
Aug 13, 2014   #1
Please help to find my mistakes specially grammatical mistakes.However, some of customs and conventions in household have vanished, but the importance of rearing of children is fundamental and is not changed. By having parent's support and companionship, children could achieve the most important qualities, which are essential, to reinforce the basic structure of family. It seems to me that loyalty and respect are the most qualities of teenagers, which can easily find in many cultures.

First, Loyalty is the most important quality of children, which is remained constant among most of children. As they grow up, parents become old and need more help. Those sons or daughters, who are loyal to their families, try to help them in the time of need and take care of them. They have recognized the value of their parents and their help. In our culture, children try to be faithful to their families and assist them anytime and anywhere.

Second, respect is another quality, which is always significant among many families. Most parents try to bring up their children by understanding them how to be polite in the society and how to respect rules and so forth. Without having respect, children may be impolite and try to do illegal activities. Even though, most parents would like to bring up their children in a good way, we may find some teenagers, who insult their parents and it would be dangerous for their futures. Totally, respecting to parents is the most essential qualities of children. .

To sum up, parents know the important of their duties. They know that their children will consist of the new generation of society, thus parents try to rear their kids in a positive way. Based on before mentioned ideas, however, a majority of qualities can express for a good son or a good daughter, but respect and loyalty are the conspicuous qualities that all children should have.

patriciahdlg - / 1  
Aug 13, 2014   #2
However,Although some of customs and conventions in household have vanished, but the importance of rearing of children is fundamental and is not changed. By having parent'sWith the support and companionship coming from their parents , children could achieve the most important qualities, which are essential, to reinforce the basic structure of family. It seems to me that loyalty and respect are the most important qualities of teenagers, which can be easily fou nd in many cultures.

First, Loyalty is the most important quality of children, which isand it remained constant among most of childrenthem . As they grow up, parents become old and need moreare more subject to the need of help. ThoseThe sons or daughters, who are loyal to their families, will try to help them in the time of need and take care of them. They have recognized the value and help of their parents and their help . In our culture, children try to be faithful to their families and assist them anytime and anywhere.

Second, respect is another quality, which is always significant amongto many families. Most parents try to bring up their children by understandingteaching them how to be polite in the society and, how to respect rules and so forth. Without having respect, children may be impolite and try to doengage in illegal activities. Even though, most parents would like to bring up their children in a good way, we may find some teenagers, who insult their parents and as a result,it would be dangerous for their futures . Totally,Indeed,R especting to parents is the most essential qualitiesy of children.

To sum up everything , parents should know the important of their duties. They should be awareknow that their children will consistbe part of the new generation of society, thus parents will try to rear their kids in a positive way. Based on before mentioned ideas, however, a majority of qualities can expressbe exemplifiedforin a good son or a good daughter, but respect and loyalty are the conspicuous qualities that all children should have.
OP hamedmas 27 / 48  
Aug 14, 2014   #3
Thank u Dear patriciahdlg I accepted of the mistakes which are highlight in the essay. After proofing, I reviewed all grammar that I have mistakes.

Indeed,respecting respect to parents is the most essential quality of children.
garung1187 3 / 4  
Aug 14, 2014   #4
you seem to lack examples for your ideas. besides, the consequences you mention are all assumptions, therefore, you should change them to "assumption" form. For example: "Those sons or daughters, who are loyal to their families, try to help them in the time of need and take care of them." => "...are likely to help them ..."

my next tip is based on ielts-simon. u should end your essay with "In conclusion".


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