Unanswered [11] | Urgent [0]
  

Home / Writing Feedback   % width Posts: 2


The restriction of using vehicles on certain days as a way to reduce air pollution


nam08 1 / -  
Oct 15, 2023   #1

car-free days as an effective way of reducing air pollution



All around the globe, air pollution has been one of the most alarming issues, especially in urban areas where many vehicles like cars used by people every day. Some suggested that we should have international car-free days, while others believe that there exist other more effective methods. From my perspective, I find that the former as the most effective way, on grounds of the release of co2 which caused air pollution mostly come from cars, though others might think that other ways are the key to stop this.

To begin, air pollution is already reduced by many useful methods with environmentally- friendly inventions. Most those inventions are "green" vehicles which does not have any harmful effect to the surrounding environment and it is usually run by electricity. For example, a corporation in Vietnam called Vinfast has devised a type of electric transportations used widely in my country and also worldwide. This not only helping to cut down huge amounts of CO2 emissions from private cars but also raising the awareness of community about the negative impacts of using gasoline cars.

On the other hand, above these suggested ways, one of the most practical and effective solutions is to have international car-free days. The more and more number of driving cars on the road, the more polluted the atmosphere is, but we can prevent it by having no cars at certain times. As a matter of fact, despite interrupting the development of transportations, the benefits of this way are undeniable. And the most obvious advantage is that the amount of toxic gases is no longer emitted enormously on that day.

In conclusion, there are several detrimental factors which lead to air pollution and many methods have been recommended to reduce this problem, such as using environmentally-friendly transportations but i believe the restriction of using vehicles on certain days is the most effective and practical way.
Holt  Educational Consultant - / 14,956 4811  
Oct 25, 2023   #2
Your prompt restatement + writer's opinion is too long. It should not be more than 3 sentences in length. You just need to restate the 2 opinions and offer your own insight, creating a summarized form of the upcoming discussion. There is no need to stretch the introduction paragraph the way that you did.

Now, you used the 3 opinion format for the presentation, but you used the single point of view explanation in the paragraphs. This will receive a failing score because you did not properly identify the public discussion from your personal opinion. You have given the impression that all of the opinions discussed are from your point of view alone due to the lack of proper 2nd and third person or group pronoun usage. Without pronoun usage, the paper will get a failing score for being a single opinion presentation when a comparative discussion was required.


Home / Writing Feedback / The restriction of using vehicles on certain days as a way to reduce air pollution
Do You Need
Academic Writing
or Editing Help?
Fill in one of the forms below to get professional help with your assignments:

Graduate Writing / Editing:
GraduateWriter form ◳

Best Essay Service:
CustomPapers form ◳

Excellence in Editing:
Rose Editing ◳

AI-Paper Rewriting:
Robot Rewrite ◳