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Robots are dangerous invention to the society.

jalp 13 / 34 7  
Jul 17, 2018   #1

how robots can affect human lives?


There is an ongoing discussion about how robots can affect human lives. While some people think that robots are dangerous, few people support its purpose that can help humans in the near future. I, however, believe that these human-like machines can be harmful to the society.

In this modern world, the invention of robots and its use are being popular. Some people believe that these battery-operated machines can develop the future of human beings. If engineers create more robots, these machines can help the workers by minimizing human work. As an example, some factories in Japan are now being labored by robots, because of their efficiency and calculated movements, the amount of job done is doubled compared to human labor.

However, as the demand for robots rises, more and more people will lose their job. Companies replace human labor to machine labor which can impact negatively to the human race. Picturing the future, the machines built like human beings are going to invade the world. People will be jobless and social interaction will lessen because these robots are controlled by computers and have their own functions depending on how they are programmed.

Therefore, I personally think that robots have negative influence to the society. These machines will not improve the future but rather take over the lives of human race. The society might think that robots can make people's lives easier, but in the long run, these will control people instead of the other way around.

With this in mind, the society is still weighing the impact of the robots to human lives. The future holds the capacity and function of human beings compared to the computer-operated machines and its purpose to mankind. I still believe that as long as humans can manage and control the use of robots, it will help people rather than replace them.

I will appreciate any criticisms and grade you can give me.
Thanks in advance.
Holt  Educational Consultant - / 12,289 3984  
Jul 21, 2018   #2
Jea, this is not a direct response essay so the personal opinion should be presented in the body of paragraphs. Not in the prompt restatement. I have often reminded you that unless you are dealing with a direct question essay, all the task 2 essays cannot accommodate a presentation of the opinion in the opening paraphrase. That is because the opening paraphrase is supposed to be used to showcase you ability to restate a given topic for discussion and the instructions for it. So you got the opening paraphrase partially correct. Please try to remember that simple rule about when a direct response is required and when it isn't required. More often than not, it isn't required in the opening paraphrase.

To say "I personally think" is a redundancy. "I" already refers to yourself. "Personally" also means "I". So in this sentence you are saying "I and I think" rather than " I think" which is a direct reference to a personal opinion.

Your concluding paragraph has new information presented in it which altered the concluding summary that should have been presented. It was not necessary to say

the society is still weighing the impact of the robots to human lives.

That is a new topic for discussion which you did not have the opportunity to build upon and explain. Omitting that would have presented a proper discussion summary and concluding sentence instead. The last 2 sentences could have been separated into 3 sentences and used to present an acceptable summary conclusion.
OP jalp 13 / 34 7  
Jul 22, 2018   #3
Thank you very much! I, at least think that I made small progress.

No personal opinion should be mentioned on opening paraphrase if it's not a direct response essay. ✔️

No 'i personally' sentence ✔️

Improve conclusion ✔️

Always grateful for your review. 😊

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