Same laws which prohibit the sale and consumption of heroin be applied to tobacco?

In this world, many people are diseased due to the addiction of tobacco. This is not only affecting the people who consume it but also it affects the whole society; including family, friends and neighbors. As Addiction of tobacco is higher than any other illicit drugs, It is a conundrum that whether government should impose stringent law similar to heroin consumption on tobacconists and tobacco addicts or not. It will be discussed in this essay.

It is true, addictive drugs and tobacco are eating our society, spreading devastating damage to the whole society. Many governments spend millions of dollar behind the people who suffer from various diseases developed by such addictions. Increased health care fund for these people might be useful to other area of society such as education and development of rural area to improve economic condition. Moreover, tobacco addiction also weakens bond with family and friends. For instance, people who consume tobacco are very vulnerable to disease like depression, headache, migraine, mood swinging. Such diseases play vital role in damaging relationships.So, today, many people demand that government should look at this issues actively and take some actions to stop its ripple effect in society. Some people who take this issue very sensitively, even seeking a law similar to heroin consumption offense, from their government.

However, It seems quite unfair law to ban only tobacco totally. Because, there are many other drugs like alcohol and and other prescribed medicines also have same effect on human body after long term consumption. So, they all also should be prohibited. Practically, it is impossible to ban each and everything that affects human body badly. Moreover, bringing law against tobacco will invite criminals to run black market to sell tobacco, similar to marijuana's illegal market.

To sum up, banning a product due to its side effects has never worked within any country. In fact, it motivates some enthusiastics to buy it for any price from black market. in few words, it never works with law. the other way to curb it would be to educate people about its harmfulness, its long term effects, its overly dependance and its effect on friends, family and society as a whole.

I appreciate any comments and feedback. if possible with IELTS band!!

HOW?????


The words "thus", "therefore", Consequently" are better than "so"

Hi Ahmad,

Thank you very much for your reply.
In introduction paragraph, you have crossed out the thesis sentence. Could you plead tell me whether it is wrongly written or there is no need to write one in this type of introduction. Or it looks odd totally. I am bit confused about its usage. One IELTS instructor suggested me to write at the end of introduction to show my stand in essay. But, some people say it looks awkward sometimes, and it can make impression on examiner that you have learned it by heart. What do you say about it?

Do you recommend any area for improvement in my essay writing. English is my second language, it will be very helpful to me if you can recommend something.

I apppreciate any comments and suggestions.

Thanks.

Hiren

I crossed out the thesis ??? Are you sure? Do you mean this sentence " It will be discussed in this essay."??? This is not a thesis statement. A thesis is a statement that shows the main idea of the essay. In fact, for writing a thesis statement you should reword the topic. This sentence (It will be discussed in this essay) can be considered as a blueprint. A blueprint is a sentence that shows what issues are going to be argued in the body. In fact it is an outline of the essay. But what you wrote is not an interesting blueprint and for this reason I crossed it out.

The structure of the introduction should be similar to what I wrote below :

1) Motivator/General background: Write an interesting opening statement which gives some general information about the topic. It can be a "question", description", "short story", etc.

2) Thesis statement: Restate the topic as a thesis statement. This part of the introduction shows that the discussion will revolve around what.

3) If the prompt is an "agree or disagree" one, give your opinion as the third part of the introduction.

4) blueprint: This is a statement that connect the introduction to the body. Google "blueprint in writing" to get my point. You can also read about blueprint in the book entitled "The practical writer with reading"

By the way, is English your second language? Or it is a Foreign language for you? Second and Foreign languages are different.

Hope this answers your question.
Regards
Ahmad