Unanswered [1] | Urgent [0]
  

Home / Writing Feedback   % width   Posts: 4


IELTS - Do the same thing and Avoid Changes; GOOD or BAD?



Wattanhi 1 / 1  
Oct 9, 2013   #1
Topic: Some people prefer to spend their lives doing the same things and avoiding changes. Others, however, think that change is always a good thing.

Discuss both these views and give your own opinion.

Although changes inevitably come to every human being, everyone is able to choose whether he or she will accept or deny these changes. Some people spend their time on the same tasks and attempt to prevent their life from changes; on the other hand, many people are adaptable to change in their life.

Firstly, people live in the unchanged condition because they want to live in comfort zone, in which everything they do is routine tasks. Thus, they think that they have no need to change to new thing that is full of risk to failure. Moreover, in some people, it is better to do something that they are already competent and are able to deal with. For example, in factory work, many employees regularly do the routine work every day, but many staffs still prefer to do so since they do not need any changes applied to their life and they think they are doing well in their life.

Nevertheless, many people think that changes are necessary for their life and that they can live their live from changes. Due to the fact that change can refer to something new in life, they can learn new things and experience what they have not seen before. For instance, in many leading companies, they encourage their employees to rotate job position, because career rotation potentially create competency in unexplored field and help to increase staffs' activeness. Furthermore, changes contribute to better things; hence, people who accept changes will obtain better thing such as experience, convenience, etc.

In conclusion, in my opinion, although changes are vital for our living, we need to adapt and deploy these changes properly because change can result in failure that can ruin someone's life forever.

dumi 1 / 6793  
Oct 9, 2013   #2
Although changes inevitably come to every human being, everyone is able to choose whether he or she will accept or deny these changes.

... I see some logical issue here. How can you always deny accepting changes ? For example, if you are forced to move out from the area where you leave by the authorities due to some security threats, how can you deny that? The state has the power and you simply has to accept it and settle down in a new place whether you like it or not.

Actually, your topic is not on this matter. It is about people's preferences. i.e some like to change more than the other.
OP Wattanhi 1 / 1  
Oct 9, 2013   #3
Thank you Dumi

I aim to band 7 in IELTS. What do you think which part in my essay should be improved?

Thank you in advance
Pahan 1 / 1824  
Oct 9, 2013   #4
Nevertheless, many people think that changes are necessary for their life and that they can live theirlivelife from changes.

.... this sentence does not make sense.... I think you have made some typos. Is this what you mean;
Nevertheless, some people think that changes are necessary for life and they can well adapt to such changing situations.
he lives - verb (singular) ... they live - verb (plural)
my life - noun (singular) ... our lives - noun (plural)


Home / Writing Feedback / IELTS - Do the same thing and Avoid Changes; GOOD or BAD?
Do You Need
Academic Writing
or Editing Help?
Fill out one of these forms:

Graduate Writing / Editing:
GraduateWriter form ◳

Best Essay Service:
CustomPapers form ◳

Excellence in Editing:
Rose Editing ◳

AI-Paper Rewriting:
Robot Rewrite ◳

Academic AI Writer:
Custom AI Writer ◳