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IELTS Writing Task 2 Sample Answer: Acceptance / Unsatisfactory Lives (IELTS Cambridge 14)



thecursedpencil 1 / -  
May 8, 2020   #1
Some people believe that it is best to accept a bad situation, such as an unsatisfactory job or shortage of money. Others argue that it is better to try and improve such situations.

Discuss both these views and give your own opinion.



There is an ongoing debate whether one should agree to work with little in return or one should exert efforts in negotiating for higher salary. In my perspectives, those two school of thoughts make high sense and could be applied in different circumstances.

Regarding the first opinion implying that individual should take any chances in job opportunities, regardless the unfavored amount of salary. One should treat these offers as hands-on experience to improve job-related skillsets. For some people, money is not the ultimate motive in working. For instance, given this highly competitive job market, fresh graduates desire nothing but the ability to apply their knowledge into reality. Therefore, they are likely to accept any given chances even though most of the allowances are low.

On the other hand, supposed on is matured enough in certain position and is confident in their competence, it is advisable for them to go extra in making a good deal in salary agreement. Senior employees, whose work's experiences lasted more than five years, have higher chances to success in such negotiation. It is safe to say, one deserve the sufficient amount of salary if their contributions are likely to reap significant success to the organization. There are many ways to improve the underpaying situation including demonstrating clearly your capabilities and presenting past achievements to the new employer

Generally, one should be able to position their skills and competence before pursuing job opportunities. Sometimes, chances and experience are pivotal to the self-development in early stages, whereas sometimes one should know their worth and seek for well-deserved salary.

Holt  Educational Consultant - / 15388  
May 8, 2020   #2
You have totally changed the parameters of the topic. You have turned a discussion into a debate, a dual point of view with personal opinion, into a personal opinion alone. These prompt deviations alone will be enough for you to get a failing score in the end. You must learn to analyze the prompt statement for its discussion requirements before you start writing an essay response. Not analyzing the discussion instructions is the most common reasons that exam takers fail this particular section of the test. You have to use the following outline to properly represent your discussion points.

Discussion Requirement: Discuss both these views and give your own opinion.
Public Point of View 1: Some people believe that it is best to accept a bad situation,
Public Point of View 2 Others argue that it is better to try and improve such situations
Discussion basis: an unsatisfactory job or shortage of money


Based on the outline I have shown you, it becomes easier for you to now outline the topics for discussion as:

- Topic sentence: accept a bad situation
- Example that shows acceptance
- Reason why the public believes this is the best approach
- Your opinion, thoughts on the public opinion

-Topic sentence: it is better to try and improve such situations
- Example that proves this decision is better
- Reason why the public considers this acceptable
- Your opinion of this topic

You must use the second and/or third person references in the reasoning explanation portion and the first person pronoun in your personal opinion presentation. While this approach is more difficult to do for beginners, based on your current presentation, I believe you can pull off this format. This way, you will have clarity in your presentation as the group pronouns will come into play to show the difference in opinion between the public and your private point of view, which could lead to a better TA and C&C score for you. The GRA and LR section are not so much of a problem for you. The main problem is actually the improper format of your discussion, which could lead to a failing score.


Home / Writing Feedback / IELTS Writing Task 2 Sample Answer: Acceptance / Unsatisfactory Lives (IELTS Cambridge 14)
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