Hi Ramdan, I do share the same opinion with Daniel. To avoid wasting money in IELTS real test, I think that your essay-structure needs a lot of improvements. I have no idea why did you only write 1 essay here if you're going to take a real test next week. I did countless practices in order to improve my writing and posted 15 of them here. However, I hope my very-short-written-feedback here would be helpful for the development of your writing.
Paragraphing is essential, I had difficulties in determining which one is your paragraph. It is not suggested to maintain that style of writing. You need to know that an IELTS task 1 essay should consist at least 3 paragraphs (3 sentences for each paragraph). I hope the brief descriptions below (using your essay) will be helpful.
1st paragraph:
The bar graphs illustrate the data of the activities of graduate and post graduate students in United Kingdom who prefer to not work full-timely in 2000. ............................................ the least popular destination to go.
2nd paragraph:
On 2008, the amount of graduates ............................................. who were willingly to take the voluntary acivities.
3rd paragraph:
On the other hand, part-timers ....................................... graduates in UK and 1,625 out of total unemployed people held the masters degree.
That's it, it will be much easier for the examiner to read your essay. Remember that you cannot go further than 5.0. if your essay "cause some difficulty to the reader". Some spelling and grammatical errors are also existed. Due to the absence of overall progression for each paragraph and unclear overview. Therefore, I reckon that this essay is worth only 5.0.
PS: I have checked in Cambridge 10th test 3, the picture didn't match with yours.