IELTS: 'satisfaction'; People are never satisfied with what they have

Question:

Do you agree or disagree with the following statement? People are never satisfied with what they have; they always want something more or something different. Use specific reasons to support your answer.

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Answer:

Some people always feel shortage with what they have. They always want something more or something different. In this essay I will explain my reasons with this statement.

On the one side, I think that some persons want to reach something that they want. They will not stop before they get satisfaction. For instance, if common society chooses to buy a motorcycle today and they want to buy car in the next month because television makes advertisement about new car with modern style. With the result, some people want to have it. Whereas, they have had car at their house, but they have not satisfaction with they have. Therefore, I think some persons never feel thanks God with they get it because they always want more than they have.

However, on the other side, I think that some people feel satisfaction with they get. For example, my teacher in boarder, located Aceh. He always thanks express what he got from his job. Governments have ever tried to give money for him. However, he did not accept it because he had satisfied with he has. He did not want more about something. Therefore, I believe that some persons thanks full what they have something.

In my opinion, we should thank God with what we get. However, we should change our life with new something because the world with each passing day forward. Technology makes the world increasingly sophisticated. In the future, if we do not know about technology. I think other persons will take advantage from us with method lie us.

In conclusion, I believe that some people should try for getting what they want, but all that there is limit it. We should not be greedy.

...
# I think better >> ... but they do not have ...


# I think >> ... feel thank God ...

they want to buy a car in the next month
hey, eva,,,don't forget use an article

but they have not satisfactionsatisfiedwith they have
Satisfaction=Noun

He did not want more about somethinganything
negative sentence = anything

Hello eva.

to better reduced that . you should open your structure.

that they want . where is it sentences refer? you should improve your idea.

Well, you have not adequately introduced your topic. Background of the issue is an important part of your introduction and you would score lots of marks for it.

You had a number of suggestions/ meaningful feedback as to how your writing could be improved, but I see you don't take the writing into serious consideration yet.

To justify what I'm saying, have a look at your essays' feedback given by previous commentators:

We always suggest to follow the structure (a 4-paragraph essay) for your overall essay. The key word of IELTS/TOEFL essay is "arguments": ie you need more than one argument and in a correctly constructed essay each argument requires a separate paragraph. Then, the four-paragraph essay is good for coherence and cohesion between the sentence-to-paragraph-to-essay construction.

What is your reason for writing with the five-paragraph essay?

make sure a car or cars.

On the one side, I think that some persons want to reach something that they want. They will not stop following their dreams until they realize thembefore they get satisfaction.


These two lines are not actually explaining the point you stress from your example. The point is that;
On one hand, the people never stop craving for things. For example, they may dream for a motor bicycle while they could not afford it. However, once they would be able to buy one, then they would start dreaming for a car.