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IELTS Task 2: Saving or spend money

nguyet_nguyen 4 / 11 1  
Jul 22, 2017   #1
Topic 4: Some people think that it is best to save money, for example in a bank or savings scheme. Other people feel that money should be spent whenever it is available. Discuss these views and reach an opinion on this debate.

Please give me comment and score this essay. Sincerely thanks

Spend money now or keep it for the future needs

Spending in the present or saving money for future has been a topical debate for a long time. I will discuss some valid arguments and give a personal opinion in the following essay.

On the first perspective, spending money, the supporters presume that, in the present society, we have to pay a lot of daily costs such as food, drinks, house renting and consumer items, so spending is inevitable. Moreover, when we spend money, we also help the cash in economy flows influent; by that way, we increase the economy, create more jobs for the job market and currently solve one of the most serious dilemmas in the world - unemployed issue. Besides, we only live once and if we ponder too much about future and forget to enjoy a flavor of present life, this is a bad idea. If spending money can make our life easier and bring happiness for us, why don't we use it like tools to develop our life?

However, in the other school of thought, people who advocate saving money acclaim because money is the tool to get the easier life, we have to exploit it efficiently. We live in the turmoil world and everything will happen such as getting fired, having a disease or relating financial crisis; in those urgent circumstances, the saving money is essential. Turning to the daily unavoidable costs, we can't refute those; however, we can control how to spend money and saving is the greatest method to teach youngsters about financial management skill. That skill is the predominant key to help them get the success in future. Finally, in macroeconomic aspect, the most fundamental reason for the crisis in 2007 is personal individuals, corporators and governments can't control their spending and exceed the real budget; this creates the big hole in the currency economic.

Overall, in my personal opinion, I extremely agree that we should save money for rainy day because of some unpredictable issues in future. Besides, the small reservation is the good start for some long-term schemes such as start-up, buying a house.

LadyOfClockwork 25 / 79 20  
Jul 22, 2017   #2
I don't recommend putting your personal opinion into the conclusion paragraph, because it cannot be laid out in one or two sentences. It deserves a well-developed paragraph of three to five sentences. And then a conclusion is written to summarize all the information and restate your opinion.

Personally, I think "money should be spent whenever it is available" is different from the necessary spending you listed in the second paragraph. You simply cannot buy food and drinks or pay housing rents. The money cannot be saved. I think "money should be spent whenever it is available" is more about how to deal with your disposable income.
OP nguyet_nguyen 4 / 11 1  
Jul 22, 2017   #3
Thanks for your advice and I will try to improve my essays better. However, I have some things which make me extremely confusing. These are the advice in Simon website - 4 paragraphs, 13 sentences and limited on 300 words. When I write, the greatest problem is how to delete my sentences (within 250 - 300 words) and ideas and not deeply concentrate on small details (this totally differences from TOEFL). In fact, I write just 15 minutes and I spend almost 20 minutes just to count the words and delete them but most of my essays exceed the limited.

Is it ok if I write 1 introduce paragraph, 2 paragraph for 2 aspects of IELTS in the discussion topic, 1 for my personal opinion and 1 for my conclusion? Because currently practice for IELTS essay, I have to practice for ACT writing and ACT test requires discuss 3 perspectives and give the personal opinion (total 6 paragraphs within 40 minutes and give obvious examples to prove ideas). In brief, my question is how to control and limit the words and paragraphs in IELTS? Hope you and Holt can give me advice.
Holt [Contributor] - / 8,796 2609  
Jul 22, 2017   #4
Nguye, let me help you out with your formatting here since you posted a series of questions relating to it. There is a standard format to the IELTS task 2 essay depending upon the required elements for discussion. The required elements are represented as follows:

1. Paraphrased opening statement
2. body paragraph
3. body paragraph
4. body paragraph or personal opinion ( if required)
5. concluding summary
The best way for you to control your word and sentence limit is really simple. Don't try to discuss too much in a given paragraph. The aim of the test is to prove that you have the ability to understand English discussions and discuss the same. Therefore, you need not impress the examiner with too much information. One piece of properly developed and presented information will be the best way to meet the sentence and word requirement of the essay. Focus on one information to present in your outline. Not more than that. Control your desire to discuss too much because it is not required. A properly selected reason is better than 4 selected reasons that do not properly represent your coherence and cohesiveness abilities when it comes to writing.
OP nguyet_nguyen 4 / 11 1  
Jul 22, 2017   #5
Thanks so much, your advice is really helpful with me. I will try to concentrate on only 1 idea and develop it instead of showing a lots ideas. I totally forgot that IELTS is the test prove my English, not knowledge =))

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