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Some say that the university students should pay the full cost of their studies

absarkhan125 1 / -  
Feb 25, 2023   #1
Some say that the university students should pay the full cost of their studies because higher education only benefits the students not the society.

To what extent do you agree or disagree?

Certain people argue that the students should bear the cost of their own education as it is only beneficial to themselves not the society. As far as I am concerned, this should not be the scenario because only an educated people can make the society successful and prosperous. At the moment, the world is advancing at an incredible speed and to be in the race a community require experts in every field such as IT experts, scientist and doctors and to produce these people a society need a well structured and free of cost education system because mostly hardworking candidates are from poor background but they have courage to do something for themselves and the society and that courage make them to breakthrough in their field. Therefore, the government should need to have some sort of scholarships to support the students to get higher education which can be the main reason of a society to become successful. Moreover, in my opinion there should be some pocket money given to bright students to encourage them more to work hard because they are the future of the society and these are the ones who going to serve for their community. For example if a government support the candidates of a rural areas to get higher education of medical and become doctor then after completing their education it is obvious that they will go back to their villages and open an hospital to serve the people of that area and then the patient will not be require to commute to the city to get basic medical facility. To conclude, it can be reiterated that government should support the candidates while getting higher education because it is only education which can bring the change to the society's future.
Holt  Educational Consultant - / 14,797 4780  
Feb 26, 2023   #2
I have to immediately call your attention to the presentation format of this essay. I am not sure if you used a mobile phone to write this essay or you had posted it in the text box without correcting the formatting instructions but, this is a very bad essay format to use. Remember to divide the presentation into discussion paragraphs. Separate these by topic for clarity and ease of reading. You cannot use a compressed format in your presentation because the examiner will have a difficult time reading your work. It also shows that you were not properly taught how to write essays in your school, which is something that is standard in US and UK, and European education.

The writer's opinion presents a thesis statement but not a direct response to the extent question. Both the measured response and thesis sentence are required in every prompt restatement + writer's opinion paragraph. You did not even come close to presenting the expected response format at the beginning or end of the essay which makes this a partially accurate response essay. It is necessary to meet all of the writing requirements for full scoring consideration. The writer's opinion in response to the question needs to be mentioned twice. Once in the restatement and the second, within the summary conclusion.

Discussion paragraphs for the essay are difficult to understand due to the writer's lack of control over word usage and sentence structuring. The GRA score for this essay will be within the failing range due to the confusion that the statements makes. Readers will find it difficult to follow the stream of thought in the presentation.

The second reasoning paragraph is a total prompt deviation that is unrelated to the given discussion points. Therefore, that paragraph will not be awarded any points and the essay will receive a final score based on a under developed discussion presentation.

Make more of an effort to write clearly. Use simple discussion structures for now to help you learn how to clearly present your thoughts. Work your way up to the other sentence varieties as you get used to writing in English and learning to properly format these papers. This is a problematic first effort that will hopefully show a few improvements when you write your second essay.

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